So you leaned over to that cute girl at The Phyrst and whispered, “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?” and it didn’t go so smoothly. She probably laughed and then shimmied away to “go to the bathroom.”

And when you said, “Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you!” to that guy at Pickle’s, he smiled sympathetically then proceeded to down his beer and bolt to the door.

I’m not saying you lack game, and I’m not saying you’re unappealing. What I am saying is that you’re using the wrong pick-up lines. This isn’t amateur hour. This is Penn State. So throw away the cheesy pick up lines your weird uncle taught you. When in Rome State College, do as the Romans Penn Staters do.

Our first submission of pick up lines were fantastic. However, we need to stay up-to-date. Here are 32 new Stately pick-up lines to up your game.

1. Hey babe, I’m feeling a lot like east halls right now. One look at you and I’m “Good 2 Go!”
2. I can be your (Old) Main Squeeze.
3. You’re so charming, I bet the creamery let’s you mix flavors.
4. Are you a Penn State squirrel? Because I can really see you handling these nuts.
5. Do you live way off campus? Because you are a reTREAT.
6. Hey sexy, did you fall from heaven? Because you look like a cms.psu.edu.
7. Are you an animal lover? Because I’ll be lion in your bed tonight.
8. BJ? Si!
9. Do you want to head to the south end zone of my Beaver Stadium?
10. You’re harder than my Math 141 final.
11. James Franklin’s head isn’t the only thing that’s smooth.
12. Are you Christian Hackenberg? Because you could really take me to the sack!
13. Are you physics 212? Because you are something I just couldn’t pass.
14. May no act of OURS bring shame.
15. (better yet) May some acts of ours bring shame…;)
16. Are you on a THON committee? Because I could use some R&R with you right now.
17. I’m like a CATA bus — you have no idea when I’m gonna come.
18. I’m like Sam Ficken. I’ll hit it no matter how long it takes.
19. I’m like Hackenberg. I’ll go down when it matters the most.
20. Are you an Indiana fan? Because you sure are excited to suck.
21. Come on over to East Halls and I’ll give you the Big O.
22. Don’t worry, that’s just my pokey stick.
23. Want to go to north campus? Because I’ll take you places you’ve never been.
24. Are you a Coke product? Because it’s impossible to find someone like you on campus.
25. You must be McLanahan’s, because you’ve got everything I need.
26. I must be in the arboretum because you are giving me butterflies.
27. I can make you squeal louder than a sorority girl on bid day.
28. Are you a bar downtown? Because you’re my Phyrst choice.
29. You make my heart melt like a West cookie.
30. Feeling frisky? You must be Pollock Commons. Come on over and let’s MIX it up.
31. Are you a snow day on campus? Because you are just unbelievable.
32. You make me blabber more than the Willard Preacher.

So there you have it. Your weapon for mass flirting destruction. Go out, spread your blue and white wings, and make Penn Staters everywhere swoon.

(Disclaimer: Onward State is not responsible for any bodily harm that occurs as a result of uttering one of these lines.)

I’d like to thank my charming fellow writers and friends for their contributions to this post:

Anna Foley, Claire Going, Doug Leeson, Gabi Stevenson, Kaitlyn Dividock, Katie Klodowski, Matt Coleman, Sara Civian, Sean Gregory, Steffen Blanco, Tim Reams, Sean Dailey, Rachael Smalfus, and Kyle Mcgarry