PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

The 20 Worst (Or Best?) Penn State Pickup Lines

If you’re like me, you have absolutely no game. I’m talking about a complete inability to say anything clever, funny, or sexy to anyone. Ever. Regardless of sobriety level.

Upon realization of my shortcomings, the Onward State staff leapt to action, compiling a list of Penn State-themed pickup lines. We have provided the full list here for your viewing pleasure, and we hope you utilize them to the best of your abilities. Who knows, maybe they’ll even get you laid! It’s far more likely that they’ll get you slapped in the face, but hey, at least we tried.

  1. The hockey student section isn’t the only place on campus known as the Roar Zone.
  2. I do a lot of group projects, I’m used to finishing things myself.
  3. I don’t play football, but I’d love to enter through your south tunnel.
  4. The HUB isn’t the only thing that’s getting bigger on campus.
  5. Just like James Franklin’s head, I’m shaven.
  6. Grilled Sticky was my nickname in high school.
  7. You’re not a keg, but I’d still tap you.
  8. Just like our offensive line, I’m willing to let you in.
  9. It takes me as long as a CATA bus to come.
  10. I’ll put the BJ in BJC.
  11. Just like Panda Express, I’m really mediocre, but I’m quick and easy so people tolerate me.
  12. I’m like the Blue Band Drumline: I know how to handle hard sticks.
  13. My footlong is better than any sandwich at Irving’s.
  14. Are you a science major? ‘Cause you got a nice Boucke.
  15. Up for a late night? And I don’t mean Redifer.
  16. If I said you weren’t hot, I’d be Lion.
  17. Damn girl, I haven’t seen an ass like that since Rodney Erickson left town.
  18. I’d get a kick out of Ficken you all night.
  19. I’m no Hack, but I still know how to score.
  20. I have a meal plan.

Go now, grasshopper, for you are ready. Take these genius lines out to bars, house parties, frats, and general establishments of debauchery, and give them a shot. If all else fails, blame us.

About the Author

Noel Purcell

Noel Purcell is Onward State's Features Editor. He's a senior Supply Chain major, but is going to law school at some point in the future and masquerades as a writer for now. He continues to disappoint his ancestors by being a complete Irish stereotype. His email is [email protected] because there were no other Noels before him. His ex-wife got the good half of his bio in the divorce settlement.

Comments

Athletics

Shea Moyer Lifts Penn State Women’s Soccer Past West Virginia 1-0

Sophomore midfielder Shea Moyer scored the game-winning goal in the 80th minute of a rainy season opener at Jeffrey Field.

Penn State Women’s Soccer Poised For Strong 2018 Season

Incoming Penn State Track & Field Athlete Kristian Marche Shot To Death In Philadelphia

Former Women’s Gymnastics Coach Files Lawsuit Against Penn State Over Handling Of Abuse Allegations

Men’s Soccer Trio, Reading United Win PDL Eastern Conference Title, Fall Short Of National Championship

Student Life

Student Body President Cody Heaton Welcomes Class of 2022 At Convocation

UPUA President Cody Heaton welcomed the incoming Class of 2022 Saturday evening with an inspiring speech.

Start The Semester Off Right With These Welcome Week Activities

Nike Releases New Penn State Sneakers

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Join Onward State: Fall 2018 Application

Onward State is hiring for the fall semester and we’d love to have you join us.

Penn State Officially Welcomes Class Of 2022 At Convocation

The Class of 2022 joined the Penn State family Saturday evening at Convocation.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Assessing Penn State’s Front Seven Following Tuesday’s Medical Retirements

Penn State’s defensive line rotation will be shaken up following Ryan Buchholz’s medical retirement from football, while the coaching staff is letting the linebackers duel it out during camp.

Send this to a friend