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Nittany Quickie: Episode Five

Bike lockers, bachelor parties, and backroads…oh my. The fifth episode of Nittany Quickie is back with a bang (literally). These stories are sure to impress and horrify many.

The Legends of Lasch

“Blue and White weekend always gets wild since it’s tailgating all day without having to go into the ‘game’. My boy and I had finished a water bottle full of rum and were feeling each other when we decided to leave the fields and head back to his place. On the way downtown after tailgating he pulled me toward the parking lot of the Lasch football field. There were some people tailgating nearby so we pretended to have to pee in the bushes by the blue fence. Since anyone and everyone who could be in the field was at the stadium, he popped me over the fence and then hopped over. There are cameras on the buildings so we couldn’t do the deed in the middle of Lasch field but we snuck near a heat pump type structure that gave us coverage. It was near the blue fence where the tailgaters were on the other side but the grass was perfect and we just went at it. We finished, hopped the fence back over, and walked away like it was nothing. Luckily that fence had the blue covering and the game was still going on.”

The amount of thought and effort that went into this deed is very commendable. Most people get too drunk and pass out on Blue & White, but you took this to a whole other level.

Bike Locker Bang 

“I met a boy at a party and we were both EXTREMELY intoxicated. I can not emphasize enough how intoxicated we were. So we decided to go home but discovered that both of our roommates at our respective apartments were home. We were outside his apartment building and he had a key to the bike locker so we did the dirty in there — the Town Square apartment bike locker to be specific. We still frequently see each other, but we’ve never had to use the bike locker again.”

Here I was thinking bike lockers were only good for holding bikes. Boy was I wrong.

Country Road Take Me Home

“A girl I went to high school with also goes to Penn State and we’re one grade apart from each other. We have mutual friends at home, so when they came to visit last year for a football game, some stayed with me in East Halls and some stayed at her apartment. One of these people at her apartment was my ex-girlfriend. One thing led to another that drunken night and we ended up outside by ourselves having a serious conversation. The conversation lasted about a minute and a half before we ended up banging on the ground in the middle of some unknown backroad. It was lit.”

No time like the present, right? If this isn’t the definition of lit I don’t know what is.

Bachelor Party Happy Ending 

“It was sylly week and my roomate and I wanted to start the weekend right. What better way than to start at Phyrst Happy Hour. Shots got easier and the night got crazier the later it got. A bachelor party of men dressed in costumes entered the bar and immediately caught our attention. Pictures and crazy poses were necessary of course (pics or it didn’t happen, right?) Two guys noticed my roommate and me laughing at these crazy men. It was one’s birthday so naturally shots for all. After the Phyrst we went to Kildares for apps and, of course, more drinks. After Kildare’s the boys walked my roommate and me home, so naturally we invited them in for some sylly week fun. Since we had a one bedroom apartment we had to be creative. We went our separate ways, one on the roof and another in a room. My roommate sees her hook up all the time around campus now.”

The roof is both daring and dumb, but we admire your creativity. Hopefully none of the guys you brought home were the groom.

House Hunting Hook-Up 

“I Wanted to hook up with a guy but his roommate and my roommate were both home — the typical story. We decided we needed to get creative so we found a house (511 East Foster Avenue to be specific, sorry residents). We went behind to the back yard and hooked up against the back of the house because we drunkenly thought it was abandoned. I found out the next day that it wasn’t, but we still didn’t get caught.”

The legend of 511 East Foster Ave will now live on forever. Hopefully the homeowners don’t find out though.

Did these stories inspire you to share your own? Submit your own crazy hook-up here.

About the Author

Caitlin Gailey

Senior from just outside the city of Brotherly Love. Yes, I am one of those Philly sports fans. I bleed blue and white and have since birth. Maybe someday you will see me on ESPN and then again maybe not. If you ever want to inflate my ego email me at [email protected]


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Life Is A Journey To Be Experienced, Not Solved: Nathaniel Pinskey’s Senior Column

“I made mistakes, I changed my major, I made a fool of myself more often than not, and yet I somehow made it to the last week of classes.”

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