Happy game day Penn State! While we’re thrilled for another opportunity to watch the Nittany Lions, you know as well as we do that it’s not quite the same when we’re not in Happy Valley. To make up for the away game (and the fact that we’re playing Rutgers), we plan to drink, and you should too.

With that in mind, enjoy our official drinking game as you watch the game from your mom’s couch:

Every time you remember you don’t go to Rutgers, take a victory sip.

If Rutgers scores, drink for as many seconds as points.

If you hear the phrase, “that team from Pennsylvania,” finish your drink.

Every time they talk about Rutgers being the “birthplace of college football,” roll your eyes and finish your drink.

If they show highlights of Penn State’s last trip to Piscataway, take five sips for every one of Gary Nova’s interceptions.

Take a drink any time you hear “No. 8 Penn State.”

If  they mention that Barkley flipped his commitment from Rutgers to Penn State, shout “We Are” and take a drink.

Subsequently, if (when?) Barkley hurdles a Rutgers player (or anything, really), hurdle your couch and take a drink.

If Penn State lines up in a two-quarterback formation, drink for 11 seconds (9 + 2 for McSorley and Stevens).

Take a drink for any mention of Penn State’s post-season chances.

“Who would’ve thought Penn State would be here only five years after…” chug until they start to talk about something else.

If Penn State wins, shrug, finish your drink, and grab another. Just a typical Saturday night.

If Penn State blanks Rutgers, take three shots and do a celebratory naked lap.

If Penn State loses, finish your drink, finish your friend’s drink, and chug everything in sight. You’re not gonna want to remember this one.

Enjoy the game! And drink responsibly, you bunch of drunks.