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A Holiday Wishlist Fit For Any Penn Stater

Finals are rearing their ugly heads and the Atherton tree is as gorgeous as ever — it’s almost time for winter break. If you’re a Penn State Dad (or Penn State Mom), you might be scrambling for last minute holiday gifts as your Penn State Kid heads back home.

Don’t you worry — we’re here to help. Here’s a list of things Penn Staters are dying for this year:

  • More white clothes (James Franklin is running us dry)
  • An ‘I heart NY’ shirt, but instead it says I HATE LionPATH
  • A lifetime contract for Joe Moorhead
  • Some type of insurance or immunity against clowns…just to be safe
  • A semester supply of Coke products
  • A Flyers-Penguins Winter Classic in Beaver Stadium (we’re never giving up on this dream)
  • Irving’s wifi that actually works
  • A better concert in Beaver Stadium than Blake Shelton
  • A six-team playoff or a new playoff committee
  • Kindness and understanding when we tell you we failed our final, failed our class, we’re dropping out, etc.
  •  A bottle of fine aged whiskey for Kirk Herbstreit and Joey Galloway for all the love this year
  • A bowl of roses
  • Milkshakes and spicy chicken sandwiches at the Chickfila in the HUB (anything less is a travesty)
  • Sick alternate uniforms
  • The return of Old Canyon
  • Beer sales in Beaver Stadium
  • A Saquon Barkley Twitter follow
  • A Wings Over gift card
  • For you to never ask what a “liquor pitcher” from the Gaff is***
    What’s on your Penn State wishlist? Let us know in the comments!

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Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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