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Creamery Unveils Kale Sanderson As Weight-Conscious, Wrestler-Friendly Ice Cream Flavor

After watching the plight that Penn State wrestlers endure every winter trying to maintain their weight, the Creamery announced on Saturday morning it will be rewarding them for their relentless dedication to health and yet another national championship by releasing a new flavor: Kale Sanderson.

Now, members of one of Penn State’s best traditions can enjoy another one while still staying within their respective weight classes. Inspired by legendary head coach Cael Sanderson, Kale Sanderson will appear in the Creamery starting this week as a healthy, wrestler-friendly option.

Sanderson is the third head coach to have a Creamery flavor named after him, as Kale Sanderson follows in the footsteps of Peachy Paterno and Russ Digs Roseberry. We originally pitched the idea of a flavor named after Sanderson after his sixth national championship, but our suggestion of Pecan Sanderson fell to the wayside in favor of this healthier option.

After months of development in the Rodney Erickson Food Science Building to find the right balance of protein-rich goodness and character-building bitterness, the Creamery scientists have now arrived at a satisfying final answer. Made out of kale grown at the Student Farm, Kale Sanderson will look very similar to the Creamery’s Bittersweet Mint flavor. But instead of chocolate chips, Kale Sanderson will feature broken-up bits of, you guessed it, kale chips.

The two flavors will be sold right next to each other in the Creamery’s display case so wrestlers can feel the rush of eating a normal dessert, and not a just a leafy vegetable that is commonly also planted outside public buildings.

While almost all wrestlers watch their diets in order to regulate their weights, a good amount take the rest of the year off to eat and drink like normal college students. Wrestlers like senior Jimmy Gulibon, however, sustain that commitment year-round, something Sanderson has taken note of.

“He’s extremely committed to being the best that he can be,” Sanderson said after his team’s dual win against Illinois. “He won’t even eat a Cheeto. Even during the summer, I’ll try to get him to eat a Cheeto and he’s not willing to do that. He’s very strict and obedient to what he thinks he should be doing.”

Although Gulibon has hung up his headgear for the final time, equally committed wrestlers of the future can now enjoy a summer treat while working at the program’s youth camps all summer.

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About the Author

Anthony Colucci

Anthony Colucci was once Onward State’s managing editor and preferred walk-on honors student who majored in psychology and public relations. Despite being from the make-believe land of Central Jersey, he was never a Rutgers fan. If you ever want to know how good Saquon Barkley's ball security is, ask Anthony what happened when he tried to force a fumble at the Mifflin Streak. If you want to hear the story or are bored and want to share prequel memes, follow @_anthonycolucci on Twitter or email him at [email protected] All other requests and complaints should be directed to Onward State media contact emeritus Steve Connelly.

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