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The Official Penn State vs. Maryland Drinking Game

It’s a beautiful November Saturday, perfect for Penn State’s regular season finale against Maryland. The weather in College Park is perfect for game day, but if you didn’t make the trip for the game that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself.

Though we’d always prefer to be in Happy Valley, we here at Onward State like to make the most of any opportunity to drink. And what better way to finish up all that alcohol you have leftover from Thanksgiving than following along with our drinking game?

Crack open a beer and shake hands with your buddies. It’s game day baby.

Take a sip for any mention of the infamous 2014 game when Maryland players refused to shake hands with Penn State’s captains before the coin toss. Finish your drink if they show the footage.

Take a sip for each senior playing in his last regular season game today and for everything those seniors did for Penn State football.

Each time the announcers bring up Penn State’s heartbreaking losses to Ohio State and Michigan State, take a shot and try your best to forget.

When Tommy Stevens and Trace line up in a two-quarterback formation, stand up and take a drink. If Touchdown Tommy puts points on the board, shotgun a Natty and salute the future.

Finish your drink for any mention of the fact this very well could be Saquon Barkley’s last regular season game for Penn State.

Speaking of Saquon, if the broadcasters mention his drop in the Heisman rankings, take a deep breath and a long sip.

If When Barkley is wrapped up behind the line of scrimmage or tackled for a loss, close your eyes and take a long pull from your beer.

If the broadcasters talk about the chaos Penn State needs in the top-10, including Pitt’s huge upset over Miami, nervously sip your drink.

Take a sip for any speculation from the announcers on which bowl game Penn State will end up in and think back to just a few years ago when…well, you know how the story goes.

Remember one-time Penn State commit turned Maryland lineman Adam McLean’s Penn State-inspired hair cut? If they talk about or, better yet, show that, take a drink.

If Penn State wins, finish your drink, crack open a few more, and celebrate, but also pour one out for what this season could have been.

If Penn State loses, drink everything in sight. Just…yeah just keep drinking.

Enjoy the game, and drink responsibly ya bunch of drunks!

About the Author


Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.


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