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Celebrating April 9 With Our Favorite 409s

Happy April 9, folks! Some of the greatest things in the world bear the notable numbers four oh nine, which just roll right off the tongue. On this momentous occasion, I am celebrating as Julie Andrews would — with a few of my favorite things.

Galveston, Texas’s Area Code

The promise to trade the 814 area code for Galveston’s 409 would be a winning platform for the Pennsylvania gubernatorial election this fall. It’d surely earn votes from members throughout the central and northwestern parts of the state.

The All-Purpose Cleaner

You can’t erase history, but you can use 409 All-Purpose Cleaner to erase stains!

The Infamous Pong Table

This repurposed door has become a locally famous beer pong table that pops up on Snapchat stories every few months.

During the most stressful and intimidating situations, always remember to “Believe deep down in your heart that you’re destined to do great things,” like sinking the last cup.

“409” by The Beach Boys

Listen to the lyrics “Nothing can catch her. Nothing can touch my 409.” They sound like a certain someone singing about a certain wins record.

Big Block 409-Cubic Inch W-Series Engine

What was Mike Love singing about in The Beach Boys’ song? The famous hot rod engine of course!

WATSON 409

This do-it-all pill can treat a variety of ailments including high blood pressure, diabetic kidney disease, and coronary artery disease. Thanks, Joe.

Mark Teixiera’s Career Home Run Total

One of only 55 members of the 400 home run club. A five-time Gold Glove Award winner. A three-time All-Star. AND an involved humanitarian.

Sounds like Success With Honor to me!

USS Sims (DD-409)

This badass battleship was the crown jewel of the U.S. Navy’s fleet of destroyers during World War II. It received two battle stars for its service in the Pacific Ocean.

26 U.S. Code § 409

This tax code defines qualifications for tax credit employee stock ownership plans. We’re going to pretend we know what that means and loosely connect it to this inspiring quote about the benefits of working on a team.

“When a team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, excellence becomes a reality.”

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About the Author

Anthony Colucci

Anthony Colucci was once Onward State’s managing editor and preferred walk-on honors student who majored in psychology and public relations. Despite being from the make-believe land of Central Jersey, he was never a Rutgers fan. If you ever want to know how good Saquon Barkley's ball security is, ask Anthony what happened when he tried to force a fumble at the Mifflin Streak. If you want to hear the story or are bored and want to share prequel memes, follow @_anthonycolucci on Twitter or email him at [email protected]. All other requests and complaints should be directed to Onward State media contact emeritus Steve Connelly.

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Happy Holidays, folks!

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