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The Official Penn State-Illinois Drinking Game

It’s another football weekend, Penn State fans!

If everything goes according to plan for the Nittany Lions, this one should be over by halftime. It’s been a while since Illinois beat a Big Ten team. To make the game a little more interesting, here’s the official Penn State-Illinois drinking game.

  • Cold beer on a Friday night? Crack one open and take a gulp to get this rare Penn State game day started.
  • Whenever the announcers mention next week’s game against Ohio State, take a sip and remember, this week is all about Illinois, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois.
  • Every time Trace McSorley throws a touchdown pass, high five your buddy and take a drink.
  • When the announcers mention McSorley being a Heisman candidate, take a sip.
  • If Penn State’s true Heisman candidate — Sean Clifford — throws another touchdown pass, shotgun a beer for the REAL Heisman favorite.
  • If the announcers make a Miles Sanders-to-Saquon Barkley comparison, drink and pretend we don’t all miss No. 26’s weekly hurdles.
  • If Illinois scores a touchdown, finish your drink and be irrationally angry about giving up points to a team winless in Big Ten play since 2016.
  • Every time they talk about Lovie Smith being a former NFL coach, finish your drink, and then pour one out for the poor guy who went from coaching a team to the Super Bowl to coaching Illinois. Yikes.
  • If Penn State wins, finish your drink and start gearing up for the White Out next weekend!
  • If Penn State loses…. ahhh who am I kidding. What are they favored by, four touchdowns? The Nittany Lions have about the same chance of losing as the Williard Preacher does of wearing anything besides old jeans and the ugliest New Balances money can buy.

Enjoy the game and drink responsibly!

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Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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