Flyers’ Beloved Gritty Attended Penn State Altoona
Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg. Michael Dell. Steve Jobs.
You can add Gritty to the long list of college dropouts who left conventional life paths behind and made it big.
The Philadelphia Flyers’ beloved mascot tweeted out his resume Wednesday afternoon, presumably seeking offseason employment. The orange-haired and googly-eyed superstar’s resume revealed he attended Penn State Altoona before finding stardom on the ice, on social media, and on the national talkshow circuit.
Gritty joins a long list of “celebrity” Penn Staters that also includes Bruce Banner and Dwight Schrute. In addition to attending Altoona, Gritty calls Happy Valley home. He was
created born out of Zeus’ skull fully grown and wearing a hockey jersey at Flyland Designs in Bellefonte.
A Nicholas Cage Independence and Patriotism Award Scholarship recipient, Gritty made the dean’s list in the fall 2015 semester, his first on campus. However, like many driven college freshmen, he fell far after a great start to college — presumably after his major classes in Logic kicked in in place of his gen eds.
He later left school after only two years with a 1.3 GPA. By our calculations, it’s next to mathematically impossible to have at least a 3.5 one semester and a 1.3 cume only three semesters later. But as with many things, we earthly beings are foolish for asking questions and doubting, for through the power and wonder of Gritty, all things are possible.
After leaving school, Gritty worked as an astrology intern with the Franklin Institute Planetarium and as a janitor at the Eastern State Penitentiary. He then took a gap year as a freelance content creator, which ultimately helped lead him to his big break as the Flyers mascot. That glo-up should bring a glimmer of hope to all the free spirits out there hoping to ~find themselves~ and whose parents look down on their flighty hopes and dreams.
Maybe you too can find a hockey team willing to let you take slap shots in between periods and rise to the status of Twitter legend.
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“Get your shit together. Get it all together, and put it in a backpack. All your shit.”
For seniors, spring semester means the end of an era. What’s on your bucket list?
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