We Want To Find The Best Porch In State College

Driving through the west side of State College, it’s hard not to notice the abundance of houses with porches perfect for daylonging, post-gaming, or just spending a night under the stars.

The porch is almost as defining a quality in college town real estate as the quintessential “Location, Location, Location, Location, Location,” and is a much safer (and more legal) alternative to the also-popular roof. A porch can make or break a house, and a great one can lend itself to countless hours of people-watching and throwing back cans of Hamm’s.

One house on Beaver Avenue claims to have the best porch in State College, according to a sign planted in its yard. Tenants Justin Keane, Joey Koestler, Liam Kane, and Bryan Murphy have declared their porch the best, due to its size, assortment of seating options, and wealth of activities that range from foosball to ring toss.

“A bunch of people walked by and said ‘You have an amazing-looking porch,’ and that we should enter a contest,” Keane said. “We held the competition ourselves, and it was self-proclaimed.”

The roommates held a four-way vote among themselves, and it was, unsurprisingly, unanimous that their porch was the best. Shortly after, a homemade sign sprung up in the yard, making the declaration official.

“The biggest quality if our porch is the size, but other things people overlook is the girth of the columns, which are freshly painted,” Koestler said. “The fence is also very nice. It’s also a nice elevation, so we can look down at people walking by.”

We want to put this porch and its 20 chairs to the test. If you think your porch is deserving of the title as the best in State College, please fill out this form.

We’ll be rating porches on a few criteria: size, activities, seating arrangements, view, overall feel, and the all-important X-factor that makes your porch unique. We might even ask to let us come daylong on it, just to gauge the vibes.

When challenged, the Beaver Ave. roommates seemed confident that their residence would withstand any contenders.

“It’s unlikely, but I’d be open to seeing this possibly second-best porch in State College,” Murphy said. “It’d need to be eight steps up, have fat columns, and not be too old to hang hammocks. A full wrap around would probably beat us. A porch with a full basketball court would maybe beat us.”

“I’m sorry your porch is probably nice, but it’s not as good as ours,” Keane added.

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About the Author

Anthony Colucci

Anthony Colucci was once Onward State’s managing editor and preferred walk-on honors student who majored in psychology and public relations. Despite being from the make-believe land of Central Jersey, he was never a Rutgers fan. If you ever want to know how good Saquon Barkley's ball security is, ask Anthony what happened when he tried to force a fumble at the Mifflin Streak. If you want to hear the story or are bored and want to share prequel memes, follow @_anthonycolucci on Twitter or email him at [email protected]. All other requests and complaints should be directed to Onward State media contact emeritus Steve Connelly.

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