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First Day Of Fall 2020 Classes Prop Bets

As you probably guessed, the first day of classes during a global pandemic is going to be different, to say the least.

Students will be flexing their Louis Vuitton face masks in class instead of showing off their new shoes. Professors might have some Zoom action under their belts, but there will still be lots of confusion and unpredictability.

To help make the start of the semester a bit more bearable (and fun!), we’ve compiled a list of prop bets that might come true during your classes this week.

For those not familiar with prop bets, Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow put it best: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

As always, Onward State is not a gambling site, and these odds are all made up just for fun and not real. We do not encourage or promote gambling. All we do is promote social distancing.

Without further ado, let’s get into it:

Prop Bets

  • You are offered a free face mask on campus: 4-1
  • You see a Snapchat selfie of two girls wearing their face masks, captioned, “We’re back”: 6-1
  • You see a student yelling at a “Public Health Ambassador”: 45-1
  • You see a “Public Health Ambassador” yelling at a student: 84-1
  • You listen to a student talk about how they learned to knit and bake banana bread in quarantine during their class introduction: 28-1
  • You accidentally stand at the Bloop stop for 20 minutes before realizing the service was suspended: 42-1
  • Professor unnecessarily refers to coronavirus as “SARS-CoV-2”: 156-1
  • Professor uses the term “unprecedented”: 2-1
  • Professor introduces their children on Zoom: 31-1
  • Professor introduces their dogs on Zoom: 14-1
  • Professor begins Zoom class wearing a mask even though he or she is home alone: 63-1
  • Champs offers a limited-time, pun-tastic beverage, such as the “Quarantini”: 108-1
  • The HUB Starbucks line extends up the High School Musical stairs due to social distancing: 30-1
  • Canvas crashes: 300-1
  • Zoom has an outage 1-1 (Editor’s note: Hey, that already happened!)

Over/Under

  • Number of hand sanitizer stations you’ll pass: 18.5
  • White Loop buses in service: 0.5 (Editor’s note: Take the under, folks!)
  • Number of dirty face masks on the ground: 22.5
  • Emails from President Eric Barron reminding you to “Mask Up Or Pack Up“: 3.5
  • Cost of Penn State face mask downtown: $4.09
  • Empty classrooms in the Thomas Building: 14.5
  • Mentions of canceled football season: 18.5
  • #WeAre first day of school tweets from Coach James Franklin: 7.5
  • Number of sorority girls wearing Skims face masks: 19.5
  • Elaborate face-mask-shield-apparatus made by an engineering student that resembles the fishbowl Sandy Cheeks wears: 1.5
  • Number of students with their face masks below their nose: 108.5
  • GroupMe links you’ll be sent: 8.5
  • Freshmen spotted on campus from “right outside of Philly” wearing green shorts, an Eagles T-shirt, and a Phillies face mask: 4.5
  • Students wearing their new AirPods to Zoom class after getting them for free through the student Apple deal exactly one week ago: 6.5
  • Students in Zoom class tuning in from their childhood bedroom: 8.5

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About the Author

Colleen Nersten

Colleen is a senior biology major from York, Pa and is one of Onward State's associate editors. She overuses the ~tilde~ and aspires to be no other than the great Guy Fieri. You can find Colleen filling up her gas tank at Rutter’s, the ~superior~ Pennsylvania gas station. Please direct any questions or concerns to [email protected] For the hijinks, always.

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