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The Best Downtown State College Wi-Fi Network Names

We all know the familiar pain of taking a timed exam. You have five minutes left, you’re stuck on the last question, and your Wi-Fi cuts out. State College has many great things, but reliable Wi-Fi is not one of them (especially on campus).

The only good part about these spotty networks is that a lot of them have some pretty creative names. We compiled some of our favorite Wi-Fi network names in State College below.

‘Godzilla’s Dong’

If I’m being honest, Godzilla’s Dong was the inspiration for this story and probably the best name on this list. Keep up the good work, guys.

‘You Up?’

The thirst is real. Quarantine is really getting to some students.

‘SendTheFreshmenHome’

These students expressed their frustration with the Freshmen Twerk Circle ™ through their network name. You tell ’em!

’18 naked cowboys in the shower’

This violates coronavirus restrictions, and as a result, I will be contacting authorities immediately.

‘bacon egg and cheese’

A+ for taste, D+ for grammar. What is a “bacon egg”? Punctuation saves lives (and breakfast sandwiches).

‘f$&king blueberries’

Damn. I would not want to be a blueberry in this apartment.

‘lawngirlz’

This one’s for you, Journey Brown. Sad boi hours.

‘3 single guys at 505’

Forget Tinder and Bumble, Wi-Fi network names are the new dating apps.

‘NJBagelsAreBest’

You can’t argue with logic.

‘itburnswhenIP’

This is creative, but may I suggest heading to UHS to get that checked out?

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About the Author

Grace Cunningham

Grace is a sophomore advertising major and one of Onward State’s social media editors. She is also a co-host of our podcast, Podward State. Grace hails from Chatham, New Jersey—no, she doesn’t know Snooki, and yes, she will fight you if you tell her that Pennsylvania bagels are good. Grace loves buffalo chicken, the Yankees, and watching Cake Boss. Follow her on Twitter @gecunningham7 or email her at [email protected] if you can get her an internship.

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