Last week, we took a deep dive into some of the weirdest scores in Penn State’s long and illustrious sports history. Naturally, found some glorious and not-so-glorious moments from Nittany Lions’ storied past.

After looking at some feedback from our last post, we decided to take another crack at it and take a look at some more wacky and cartoonish scores from Penn State’s past. Buckle up!

Penn State Football 81, Cincinnati 0 (September 7, 1991)

The headline in the New York Times on September 8, 1991, read “An 81-0 Mauling by the Nittany Lions.” What fans witnessed in Beaver Stadium the day before that was a Penn State beatdown of epic proportions.

The fifth-ranked Nittany Lions came into the game and scored 17 points on their first three possessions. By halftime, Penn State was up 40-0. Joe Paterno opted to play his second-team stars for the entirety of the second half, but they even scored on their first four possessions of the half to make it 67-0. By the end, Penn State had won 81-0.

Tony Sacca was under center for the Nittany Lions that day as he threw for two touchdowns, both of which went to future NFL top-10 pick Kyle Brady. JT Morris, Sam Gash, and Shelly Hammonds all had two rushing touchdowns on the day as well.

In a post-game interview, Paterno said he was actually embarrassed by the score of the game despite winning 81-0. Cincinnati coach Tim Murphy made sure no blame was on for Paterno running up the score, calling him a “class guy” and putting all the blame on himself. Still, Paterno said the game was a fluke.

With Luke Fickell at the helm and Desmond Ridder under center for the Bearcats today, an 81-0 victory over Cincinnati would be a statement win at the very least. But in 1991, the Bearcats finished 4-7, while Penn State went 11-2 and won the Fiesta Bowl. It was the largest blowout in the history of modern Penn State football.

Penn State Softball 8, Saint Francis 7 & Saint Francis 17, Penn State 13 (April 3, 2019)

Back in 2019, former Onward State editor Steve Connelly said this doubleheader between the Nittany Lions and the Red Flashes was the weirdest sporting event he had ever witnessed. The scores of the two games may not stand out as much, but it’s when you take a deep look at the stats that this doubleheader gets wacky.

People always hope that when they go see a softball or baseball game, there will be a lot of home runs. This doubleheader had a combined 10 (!) homers between the two teams. Toni Polk even hit a walk-off home run to end the first game in a fitting fashion.

WATCH. IT. FLY!@PennStateSB walks it off thanks to this 2-run bomb from Toni Polk!#WeAre#BTNStandout x @AutoOwnersIns pic.twitter.com/6wyXTtAXjG

— Penn State On BTN (@PennStateOnBTN) April 3, 2019

What may be even crazier is that Penn State committed 13 errors over the two games. In the third inning of the second game alone, Penn State had five errors that resulted in nine runs for the Red Flashes.

It was like a car crash — something so horrendous and ugly that you just couldn’t look away. It more resembled a backyard Wiffle ball game where you made up the rules as you went rather than a division one softball game. But chaos is fun sometimes, and that’s what this doubleheader was.

Penn State Basketball 38, No. 18 Illinois 33 (February 18, 2009)

In our last post on this same topic, we took a look at the historic Big Ten tournament game between the Nittany Lions and Wisconsin Badgers that ended 36-33. That same score almost happened two years prior.

Penn State shot 28% in the game and went 3-for-26 during a 20-minute span. Illinois didn’t do much better, shooting 30% from the floor.

At that time, the combined 71 points between the Nittany Lions and the Fighting Illini were the lowest total in a Division I game since 2005. Former Penn State head coach Ed DeChellis said the score was something the great James Naismith would be proud of, as it resembled something from the pre-shot clock era of basketball.

Illinois had a 29-20 lead with just over 10 minutes left in the game but managed just four points during the remaining time. Penn State ended the game on a 14-2 run as Stanley Pringle hit the go-ahead layup with four minutes left before Talor Battle sealed it with four late free throws to win.

If only Nittany Nation knew that this wasn’t going to be Penn State’s worst victory of all time.

No. 8 Penn State Women’s Soccer 9, Bucknell 2 (September 25, 2001)

Penn State women’s soccer and domination are two words that go hand-in-hand. It felt appropriate following the Nittany Lions’ 20th Big Ten regular-season title that we look at one of the craziest score lines in program history.

When you see nine goals scored by one team in a soccer match, it’s safe to assume the goals were spread out over the full 90 minutes. It was not the case in this game, where Penn State scored eight goals in the first half.

Bucknell head coach Chrissy Findlay knew how good the Nittany Lions were and went into the game “playing for pride.” Christie Welsh, who would win the Mac Hermann Award that year and play for the United States team, scored twice in the game.

Penn State had just a 13-7 shot advantage in the game but was clinical when it came to its chances. Paula Wilkins’ Nittany Lions went 21-4-1 that season and made it to the Elite Eight of the NCAA Tournament. It still stands as the most goals scored by the Nittany Lions in a single game in program history.

Penn State Football 109, Lebanon Valley College 7 (October 23, 1920)

Last week, we highlighted the 1889 game when Penn State got blown out by Lehigh 106-0. Three decades years after that game, the script flipped in Penn State’s favor.

The game took place in State College at New Beaver Field, which is the current site of the Kern Building on campus. Lebanon Valley College came into the game and surprisingly scored the first touchdown. Penn State then put 109 unanswered points past the Dutchmen.

In the Lebanon Valley News two days later, folks in the area disregarded the score because they thought it was an electoral college prediction for the upcoming 1920 presidential election between Warren G. Harding and James Cox. The Lebanon Evening Report said the game was so one-sided. The best part was when the Penn State fans starting chanting for the Nittany Lions to score 100. Penn State coach Hugo Bezdek played his first, second, and third teams in the game, yet the Nittany Lions still dominated.

Old football scores are wacky, and this was the wackiest one that ended in Penn State’s favor. It’s the largest margin of victory in all of Penn State football’s history.