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Designing A Penn State-Themed Seltzer Variety Pack

Like any college town, it’s safe to say Penn State and Safe College know how to party, kick back, and relax.

With the rise of the almighty seltzers, it seems like everyone is creating their own versions and flavors of seltzer. As spring brings warmer weather, some may even opt for the healthier option seltzers bring.

Naturally, we felt inspired to create our own Penn State-themed variety pack, full of fruits, puns, and unique, never-before-seen flavors. And now, we present to you: The Nittany Paws.

We Are…Watermelon

It would not be a Penn State variety pack without at least one “We Are!” reference, and rightfully so. Plus, who doesn’t love the refreshing taste of watermelon to quench your thirst on a scorching hot Saturday? “We Are… Watermelon” is sure to bring a smile to your face at tailgates or even between Zoom classes.

So, enjoy this classic flavor, but don’t you dare forget to say “Penn State” when you crush an empty can.

Sour Saquon

Now, we know what you might be thinking: “Why the hell would I drink a sour seltzer?” Well, why would you want to go up against Saquon on any given Sunday?

Plus, we’ve never seen a sour seltzer before, so who knows? We might be onto something here. This drink might be provocative, but it’d surely get the people going.

Bloopberry

This blueberry seltzer pays tribute to all the times the Blue Loop has gotten us back home safe and sound. Whether it’s a football game, frat party, or just any normal day here at State College, “Bloopberry” is sure to serve campus, downtown, and the Penn State community via its delicious blueberry flavor.

State (Peppermint) Patty’s

It’s about time State Patty’s gets its own official drink. The “State (Peppermint) Patty’s” is heavily influenced by McDonald’s’ Shamrock Shake. It serves not only as a drink but a dessert as well. After a day’s worth of drinking, be sure to reward yourself with this seltzer before you inevitably pass out cold on your bed.

Lemon-Lion

It’s not a seltzer pack without at least one lemon or lime drink. Mix them both together and you get the tasty “Lemon-Lion.” Rumor has it the Nittany Lion shotguns a few of these for energy before doing his infamous one-armed push-ups.

Joe PawPaw

Have you ever tasted a pawpaw fruit? It must be one of the best kept secret fruits in American history. The mix of mango, banana, and citrus flavor that comes out of them is nothing short of amazing. This seltzer is by far going to be the crowd favorite, and we wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the first flavor gone.


The Nittany Paws would be a great gift for graduation, your family, or even that one friend who claims they’re “trying to watch their calories.” We recommend trying all flavors before you get a little too tipsy that you can’t taste the difference. Regardless, please drink responsibly, Penn State.

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Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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