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When Nature Calls: Where To Take A Leak At A Penn State Tailgate

Look, we’ve all been there. You’ve had too much water to drink on a gameday, and you just can’t hold it in for any longer. it can seem daunting to leave a tailgate and venture through the crowded lots just to let loose and relieve yourself.

Truly nothing can stop nature’s calls. Luckily for you, though, we’ve compiled some of the best places to take a leak before a Penn State game to alleviate some gameday stress.

Porta Potty

There’s a wide range of options in the porta-potty department while tailgating. No matter where you are outside Beaver Stadium, you’ll be able to find one. However, the biggest drawback to this option is the lines. At peak hours, expect a 15 to 30-minute wait, and that’s not even taking into account how gross the porta-potties would be by then. Be sure to plan your visits and bring a friend to help pass the time.

Bryce Jordan Center

The Bryce Jordan Center is a great alternative for when you don’t want to wait in the long porta-potty lines. The BJC cuts off the wait time and is a safe place if your number one turns into a number two. You’ll want to remember to bring a mask, though, because masks are required at every indoor facility on campus.

Beaver Stadium

If the porta-potty line is too long and the BJC is just too far away, you could get into Beaver Stadium early to not only use the bathroom but grab a great seat in the student section. We know how quickly the section fills up, so maybe hitting the bathroom early and scoring a close seat could benefit in the long run.

RVs

Although all RVs are not open to the public, it couldn’t hurt to go up to a Penn Stater’s RV set ups and politely ask if you could use their bathroom. Please, keep this option for number ones only, and be sure to thank the host for allowing you to use their facility.

A Dead Piece Of Grass/Bush

With heavy foot traffic on the fields during gameday, the grass is bound to go through some wear and tear. Help mother nature grow back her beauty by adding some nutrients to the Earth. Don’t discriminate the bushes, either — they need some loving too!

Literally Any Bottle

Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures, and that’s when a handy-dandy empty bottle comes to play. This play is more for the experienced crowd since it can be challenging to discard your bodily fluids through such a skillful shot.

Make sure you properly dispose of the bottle in a trash can and don’t pour it back on the ground, because that negates the entire purpose of this method.

Behind A Car

Sneaking behind a car is a great way to not only pee but to be discrete. If you could bring a friend along as a lookout, this could help tremendously. Just make sure you don’t get any fluids on the car itself because that would be a tough situation to get yourself out of.

Piss Your Pants

When all else fails, just piss your pants. We’ve all been there, and on a day as crazy as gameday, it’s not as bad as you think. Speaking from experience, be sure to wear black bottoms so the wet stain isn’t too noticeable.

Disclaimer: We here at Onward State do NOT condone public urination. Such actions can result in fines and/or arrests. Please, piss responsibly.

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About the Author

Tobey Prime

Tobey is a senior studying broadcast journalism from Lancaster, PA. He is a major Pittsburgh sports fan and Miami Heat fanatic. When Tobey isn't writing for Onward State, you can catch him looking at photos of his pugs. Send your best insults to [email protected] or sports takes to @tobey_prime on Twitter.

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