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What Would A Penn State ‘Squid Game’ Look Like?

Netflix’s “Squid Game” is the latest show that’s captivated streaming TV buffs everywhere. For those living under a rock, the Korean-based survival drama’s premise is simple: 456 contestants compete in a series of deadly games for a chance to win a lucrative prize.

Naturally, we began wondering what a Penn State-themed Squid Game would resemble. Sure, 409 contestants would brave the contest for a lifetime supply of Creamery ice cream — but what about the games themselves?

Well, we got to brainstorming. Here are a few ideas to consider if the Squid Game ever arrives in Happy Valley:

Game 1: Catching a Squirrel

Penn State squirrels. You know ’em, you love ’em. Certainly, we’ve all thought of just reaching down and picking one of them up, and now’s your chance.

This first game would require contestants to catch one of these speedy little critters by hand within a certain time frame. If you can’t catch one of these furry friends, you’ll be eliminated. That’s right…death by squirrel!

Game 2: Spikeball

A favorite game of the freshmen in East, Spikeball involves two teams of two throwing a ball at a net on the ground and trying to hit it back, or something like that. It’s a game of strategy and skill, and perhaps we could add some extra challenge by adding real spikes to the ball. Fun! The team that can beat the other team would move on to the next game.

Game 3: Unpacking A Dorm

Move-in can be rough, especially if you’re struggling to find a cart. This game would require players to unload their car, fill their cart, and move it all into their new home for the semester before the time is up. Pack those carts strategically, folks — your status in the game depends on it.

Game 4: Getting A Table At The HUB

Lunch rush at the HUB is no joke, folks. Between long lines for food, backed-up mobile orders, and a lack of any decent seating options, it’s pretty much survival of the fittest out there. This contest would be akin to a massive game of musical chairs, and if you can’t find a seat, you’re toast.

Game 5: Finding Your Friend At A Frat

Losing your friend anywhere is never ideal, especially not at a packed, dark frat. The object of this game is to find who you came with to the party before others do, all while dodging the dancing, humidity, and strobe lights.

Game 6: Changing The Willard Preacher’s Mind

A final game is one that only the strongest, both physically and mentally, could succeed in. It is not for the faint of heart, though. The final game involves changing the Willard Preacher’s mind about literally anything. Do this, and you win the game.

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About the Author

Anna Wiggins

Anna is a sophomore from Washington D.C., but if you're from the DMV she's actually from Alexandria, VA. She likes 80's and 90's rock, was born in a pink hospital in Honolulu, and is double-jointed in her arms, legs, and shoulder blades. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @annae.wgn, or, if you wish to yell at her, you can do so at [email protected]

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