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Power Ranking Penn State’s School Colors

Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.

Penn State is a university of tradition — traditions that many have strong opinions on.

The university’s school colors are instantly recognizable as symbols of the institution. When walking around campus, it is not uncommon to see nearly all passersby donning those very colors. And although we love them all, there is a clear hierarchy among them.

With pride for Dear Old State aplenty, we meticulously researched to definitively rank Penn State’s school colors.

1. Blue

Blue was the easy choice for our top spot. Some might describe blue as “basic,” but we believe it is the soul of Penn State’s color palette.

The particular shade of blue, navy, is deep. It’s rich. It asserts strength. Penn State’s blue is unapologetic. There’s no mistaking it for black, but it also lacks the brightness typically associated with the other sell-out shades of blue.

Think about it.

Blue is a pillar of the visual and emotional world.

Blue is inside of everything. Blue is meaning.

Blue is the ocean. Blue is the sky. Blue is the flame on a scented candle flickering through the dark hours of night.

Sonic. Stitch. Dory. The Avatar…all blue.

Blueberries. Blue raspberry. Blue crab. Blue whales.

Bluebonnets. Blue topaz. Blue bloods.

Blueprint. Bluegrass.

Blue jeans.

Bleu cheese.

Blue Man Group. Blue’s Clues. Blue Oyster Cult. Blue Jays comma Toronto.

Blue is peace. Blue is love. Blue is purity.

Blue eyes on the face of a newborn babe.

The blues.

The blue screen of death.

Hell, even Onward State’s hyperlinks are blue.

Blue is tears. Blue is absence. Blue is need.

Blue is unmistakable in its pursuit of catharsis. Blue runs parallel with the celestial expansion of the vast and infinite cosmos.

Blue is security. Blue is order. Blue is calm. Blue is true.

Blue sparkles. Blue swirls. Blue swells.

Blue shakes your hand and means it.

Blue is the best of Penn State’s school colors.

2. White

It’s boring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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About the Author

Sam Fremin

Sam is a senior from Ashburn, Virginia, majoring in journalism and political science & minoring in German and creative writing. He is a Dallas Cowboys fan who relishes the misery of Eagles fans. All hate messages can be sent to [email protected] or @SamFremin on Twitter.

He may or may not read every single comment he gets.

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