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President Barron To Run In Mifflin Streak As Final Act As President

Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.

There’s a new piece of genitalia joining the Mifflin Streak, folks.

In a striking turn of events, Eric Barron plans to run in this spring’s Mifflin Streak to end his term as Penn State’s president on a high note.

“I just wanted to go out with a bang,” Barron told Onward State. “You know, we administrators get stressed before finals week, too. I just want to let off some steam one last time.”

Since the Mifflin Streak’s creation in the late 70s, students have sprinted down Mifflin Road on the Sunday before finals week to let off some steam and flap their junk in the free-flying wind. Now, Barron is preparing to become the first Penn State president — let alone administrator — to join in on the annual tradition.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had this date circled on my calendar before the semester even started,” Barron said with a smile. “My wife, Molly, even put me on new workout and diet so I look my best for the pictures.”

The Mifflin Streak could very well serve as Barron’s last act as president, especially considering he’s set to retire about a week later. What better way to go out than by partaking in a notorious beloved school tradition?

President-elect Neeli Bendapudi did not judge her predecessor’s decision to join the streak. Instead, she was seemingly jealous that Barron didn’t invite her, too.

“You know, President Barron told me about his plans on the same day I was appointed,” Bendapudi told Onward State. “I even asked him, ‘Can I join?’ I suppose I’ll need to wait my turn to go streaking, too.”

The Mifflin Streak is set to take place at dusk on Sunday, May 1. Head to Barron’s official Mifflin Streak Twitter page, @EricBAREon, for updates on all the action.

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About the Author

Tobey Prime

Tobey is a junior studying broadcast journalism from Lancaster, PA. He is a major Pittsburgh sports fan and Miami Heat fanatic. When Tobey isn't writing for Onward State, you can catch him looking at photos of his pugs. Send your best insults to [email protected] or sports takes to @tobey_prime on Twitter.

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