Happy Gameday Thirsty Thursday, folks.

Penn State football will take on the Purdue Boilermakers tonight in West Lafayette for the season opener. Chances are, you’re sitting at home with a six-pack, praying that you won’t have a hangover for work tomorrow.

Well, too bad. Penn State football is back, baby. So, raise your glass to the 2022 season and celebrate the occasion with this week’s official drinking game.

• Take a nice, long sip. Football is back!
• Take a sip if you have work in the morning. It’s time to chillax.
• Take a sip if you have no idea what state Purdue is in (Spoiler: It’s Indiana).
• Crack open a new bev if Penn State scores first.
• Crack open another if it’s 0-0 at halftime again.
• Jump Scare: Bottoms up if there’s a Purdue Pete close-up on the TV.
• Chug for 10 seconds when Parker Washington scores a touchdown.
• Drink if you’re simultaneously working on an assignment due at 11:59 p.m.
• Drink for Jake Pinegar’s first field goal of the season. Drink again if Sander Sahaydak knocks one in.
• Take a nice long sip if you use Purdue OWL to cite literally everything. You are so studious!
• Finish your drink if Drew Allar goes in.
• Take a sip if there’s mention of Barney Amor getting put on full scholarship.
• Drink a Pedialyte if you have an 8 a.m. tomorrow morning. Take care of yourself, folks.
• Finish your drink if a Penn State running back finally goes over 100 yards.
• Take a sip if the broadcast mentions that Sean and Liam Clifford are brothers.
• End the night with a shot if Penn State is 1-0.
• Finish your drink if Penn State loses. Drown out the pain.

As always, have fun, stay safe, and drink responsibly.