Envisioning Penn State-Themed Girl Scout Cookies

Girl Scout cookies are back on the market, folks.

With the classic cookies finding their way into cabinets across State College, we took the time to design some Penn State-themed cookies. Here are some of our best ideas, just waiting to be put into the oven.

Yallah Taco

These are great for a night in, but personal experience says that you should put them back in the cabinet around 1 a.m. just to be safe. Trust us.

Chicken Basket

Unable to go to a Penn State sporting event but you still want that chicken and fries? Just have them in a box! We’re sure they’ll taste just as good.

Mountain Dew Energy Drink

THON and midterms going on during the same week? Sounds like Penn State will need this cookie to hang onto that GPA. You can find these in the HUB market, where they’ll take up a surprising amount of space for an average cookie.

BJC Jams

The obligatory Berkey Creamery Flavor, but this time, in the spirit of THON! This is one of the few cookies on this list that would actually taste good, so take notes, Girl Scouts.

Beaver Stadium Trough

Make sure to eat these while standing ~uncomfortably~ close to a strange man that you’ve never met before. Also, stare straight ahead at the wall during consumption.

White Building Barbells

We don’t want to know what that black stuff is on those barbells, but whatever it may be, it’s on these cookies. At any rate, your immune system will either collapse or become a case study for how to avoid the PSFlu.

Rose Bowl

Why would you smell roses when you can taste them? Celebrate Penn State’s victory in Pasadena with red cookies that taste like success. Just make sure to avoid the thorns.

Jungle Juice

We’re sure that these will be popular for the freshmen, but most upperclassmen will lose their taste for them pretty quickly. At any rate, everyone will give them a try once.

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About the Author

Joe Lister

Joe is a junior journalism major at Penn State and Onward State's managing editor. He covers Penn State football, among other Penn State sports. He also listens to Mac Miller more than you. If you want to find him, Joe's usually watching soccer with his shirt off or at the gym with his shirt on. For dumb stuff, follow him on Twitter (iamjoelister). For serious stuff, email him ([email protected]).

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