We are so back, folks.

Penn Staters have returned to Happy Valley for the fall semesters and State College is whole once again. Every year brings new and unexpected challenges, but sometimes, there are things you can predict. So of course, we made some prop bets for what we think will happen on the first day, or first week, of classes of the fall semester.

For those not familiar with prop bets, Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow put it best: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

A brief note: we here at Onward State do not endorse gambling in any way. However, we do endorse fun. And hopefully, these meet that standard.

Prop Bets

• Your professor says that they don’t allow computers or iPads for note-taking: 9-1
• You realize very quickly after getting a class syllabus that you will not be enrolled in that class in a week’s time: 30-1
• You don’t overspend on cheap posters from the HUB sale: 150-1
• Someone you had in a class last year sits next to you in a class this year: 7-1
• You accidentally fall in love with a classmate during a single 50-minute class period: 10-1
• A professor introduces themself as a “cool professor”: 20-1
• The line to eat dinner at Pollock Dining Commons is fewer than 20 minutes long: 2-3
• Brad Kraut appears during your mindless TikTok scroll: 8-1
• You wake up Monday morning not knowing what your first class is: 5-1
• You purchase a notebook for a class on the way to that class: 25-1
• You’re actually able to secure a meeting with your academic advisor: 100-1
• You’re late for your first class: 35-1
• Your professor is late for your first class: 30-1

Over/Under

• People taking a singular White Loop from East Halls to the Forum Building: 69.5
• People that you see that you kind of know but don’t really while walking to class: 12.5
• Pages of syllabi that you’ll receive in the first two days of class: 29.5
• Newcomers drawn to the Willard Preacher due to pure novelty: 8.5
• “Academic weapons” fighting to sit in the front row of your class: 5.5
• Minutes you spend on Google Maps looking for classes this week: 18.5
• Times you hear “this is my year” in one day: 49.5
• Students wandering the bookstore in the HUB before deciding everything is overpriced: 449.5
• Assignments you have due during sylly week: 3.5
• Number of GroupMe chats you’ll join for classes in a week: 3.5
• Number of days you’ll wait for that one class to get uploaded to Canvas: 6.5