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Penn State Football Players As Kens

After Taylor Swift took Arrowhead Stadium Travis Kelce’s Mojo Dojo Casa House by storm Sunday, we couldn’t help but reminisce on our Happy Valley Kens blanking Iowa 31-0 in their Mojo Dojo Casa House Saturday.

So in true Barbie fashion, we brainstormed a few old and new Penn State football Kens that help make this Barbieland go round.

National Anthem Ken: Golden Israel-Achumba

This Ken has pipes.

Golden Israel-Achumba has been making a name for himself off of the football field singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” He debuted his secret talent at the 2023 Blue-White Game and hasn’t looked back.

Twitter Ken: Adam Breneman

Our internet Ken. Former Penn State football tight end turned Twitter personality Adam Breneman is an easy pick for our chronically online Ken.

With his experience hosting the “Next Up with Adam Breneman” podcast and creating the NIL-driven sports media company Mercury, Breneman will ensure the Barbies’ mics are on and they’re making the best NIL decisions in Barbieland.

America’s Ken: Drew Allar

While we’ve known about Drew Allar since his Medina days, many around the country are just now finding out about Penn State’s beloved starting quarterback.

Allar’s always been Penn State’s Ken, but maybe now he’s becoming America’s Ken.

Grandpa Ken: Sean Clifford

Every Ken needs a Grandpa Ken, and where would America’s Ken be without his own? Sean Clifford, Penn State’s three-year starter from 2019 to 2022 and all-time leader in wins at quarterback, laid the gritty groundwork for America’s Ken to shine as brightly as he does.

Grandpa Ken, as a fellow Ohioan, bred America’s Ken for greatness in the Keystone State.

Walk-On Ken: Dom DeLuca

Everybody loves an underdog Ken.

From growing up a Penn State football fan to becoming just the second player in program history to sport No. 0, Dom DeLuca is the guy everyone roots for.

Mayonnaise Ken: Will Levis

It’s not normal. It’s not right. But it’s uniquely Will Levis, our Mayonnaise Ken.

Australian Ken: Riley Thompson

You get it. Riley Thompson, a Melbourne, Australia, native, is our Oz Ken. Some could also make a case for Mustache Ken.

Physicist Ken: Olu Fashanu

Our “Academic Heisman” semifinalist is the clear choice for the brains of Barbieland.

Olu Fashanu was named a William V. Campbell Trophy semifinalist, meaning he’s rocking at least a 3.2 GPA, shows strong character and leadership off the field, and is a significant contributor on the field. This Ken does it all.

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About the Author

Keeley Lamm

Keeley is a junior journalism major from Richmond, Virginia, and is Onward State's managing editor. She also talks about awesome stuff on our podcast, Podward State. Keeley is a lover of grilled cheese and Kevin Jonas. If you'd like to share your thoughts on the superior Jonas Brother, feel free to contact her on Twitter @keeleylammm or send your best joke to her email [email protected].

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