It’s cold in State College, folks.

In the lead-up to Penn State’s College Football Playoff game against SMU on Saturday morning, Beaver Stadium was covered in a light dusting of snow from the night before. With no tarp laid down the night before, a team of five snowblowers was tasked with clearing off the field, though they often seemed a little out of their element.

Still some

Coverage presented by the folks @Minitab. pic.twitter.com/Jyfhic3NkO

— Onward State (@OnwardState) December 21, 2024

It took well past an hour to clear off the field and by the time those snowblowers finished, snow was falling and coating the rest of the field again. It inspired us to find some things that were somehow faster than those snowblowers.

The DMV

Ever gotten to the DMV right when it opens and still had to wait for several hours to get a driver’s license photo taken? The sort of stir-crazy feeling that comes with being at the DMV was the same feeling as watching snow kicked up by the snowblowers come back across the rest of the field.

Penn State Football Parking Pass Distribution

In the weeks before the SMU game, plenty of Penn State fans reported ordering parking passes from Penn State Athletics and never receiving them. A few of those fans reached out to Onward State with receipts that they had tried to purchase a ticket, but Athletics denied receiving those requests.

In the end, folks had to order passes all over again as mobile tickets. Talk about simple.

The College Football Playoff Selection Show

Why did it take 42 minutes to just announce a 12-team bracket and 10 more minutes to announce the kickoff times for the games? This could’ve been an email.

A Thursday Night Line At Champs Downtown

DVSN is the greatest show in Happy Valley, folks. For whatever reason, Penn State students are more than happy to line up around the block and down Allen Street and Calder Alley for their chance at cheap drinks and to experience DJ Yemi.

Professors Grading Exams

This isn’t to say that being a professor is an easy job, but do we really have to wait three weeks to find out a grade from a 10-point in-class quiz? They’re just going to let Canvas grade the work, anyway.

Waiting For Kickoff

Yeah, we’re pretty bored in the press box today.