Saturday morning at the Bryce Jordan Center opened with a bang: a seemingly unending segment of watching the dancer floor get cleaned by the Zambonis, mops, and even volunteers shuffling around with paper towels on their feet.

As I watched the scene unfold, and as one Zamboni went over the same patch of linoleum over and over again, I thought of all the other things I could have done with that time.

Write Next Year’s Line Dance

The five-minute routine requires months of analyzing and decision-making to narrow down key pop culture moments into one. I believe I could’ve made decent headway on that process just while standing in the lower bowl as the volunteers roped off the dancers.

Learned The Guitar Solo That Opened The Hour Of Rock And Roll

An almost 10-minute electric guitar solo opened up THON Weekend’s first theme hour. I have never picked up a guitar in my life, and I’m sure the musician behind it has worked on his craft for years. I still believe I could have accompanied him in his playing by the end of the cleaning session if I had picked up a guitar at the first sight of a Zamboni.

Fill Up My Water Bottle Eight Times

The line to the water fountain on the concourse of the BJC rivals some theme park ride lines. The first time I stood in it this weekend, the line took so long that I was not let back into my section after I had finally refilled and returned. I watched multiple people leave and come back completely hydrated before the dancers took to the floor again after the cleaning.

Climb Mount Nittany

If you left as the cleaning began, you would have had time to drive over to the mountain, hike its hardest trail, and still return as THON returned to its regularly scheduled programming. I recommend that next time if you are looking for a time to knock the climb off your Penn State bucket list.

Ride The White Loop Fully Around Campus And Downtown During Peak Busy Hours

A CATA bus during prime time is one of the slowest methods of transport in State College, especially when students take the time to board at East Halls and then get off immediately at the Forum Building. It takes me about a half hour just to get to class during these times which coincidentally fits perfectly into the time slot needed to sweep up some debris.