Two Truths & A Lie: Penn State Edition

“Two Truths And A Lie” is a classic. Whether you call it a game, bonding exercise, or bromance creator, it’s the perfect icebreaker for any group.
Our staff decided to brainstorm some Penn State-related Two Truths and a Lie prompts to keep you and your friends entertained.
So, folks, which do you think is the truth?
Round One
- The Whoop uses Saquon Barkley’s sweat as an alternative fuel source when gas prices are too high.
- Sue Bird was named after Sue Paterno.
- Beau Pribula’s decision to leave Penn State was heavily influenced by a sorority girl rejection.
Round Two
- Graham Spanier temporarily shared a jail cell with Lindsay Lohan in 2012.
- Due to budget cuts, East Hall residents will be required to take in a stray from Pollock beginning in 2026.
- Dunkin’ is set to launch a new “Nick Singleton Runs On Dunkin'” campaign at the start of the 2025 football season.
Round Three
- Having a GPA of 2.5 or less after your freshman year results in immediate disqualification from the football season ticket lottery system.
- The Peachy Paterno ice cream flavor offered at Berkey Creamery is being discontinued.
- James Franklin was a member of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity while attending Penn State.
Round Four
- The remains of the Joe Paterno statue are melted down every year to make class rings.
- Beaver Stadium will undergo renovations until 2035 due to timeline miscalculations.
- Ace Baldwin auditioned to be the title character in the movie “Joker.”
Round Five
- Onward State is set to buy out the Daily Collegian in December 2025.
- Neeli Bendapudi has ordered the construction of the Neeli Bendapudi statue on Old Main Lawn.
- The Big Ten and SEC are set to create a new “Mega Intercollegiate League of Football.”
Round Six
- Carolyn Kieger is looking to State College High to fill up her 2025-26 roster.
- Champs uses Starry in place of Sprite in its renowned “Dirty Sprites” due to the Penn State-Pepsi contract.
- The Rizzler announced his commitment to the Penn State Class of 2032 via TikTok.
Round Seven
- Buffalo Wild Wings opening was delayed due to a Blazin’ Wing Challenge participant destroying its plumbing system.
- Draft Kings and FanDuel will soon no longer be available in State College due to state regulation changes.
- Cooper Flagg was seen at Doggie’s Pub on an unofficial visit with Mike Rhoades.
Round Eight
- Freshmen overheard the Penn State Blue Band rehearsing the “Dreams and Nightmares” instrumental version in preparation for the Blue-White Game.
- Carter Starocci announced a new attempt to break his own record by regaining full collegiate career eligibility.
- Movin’ On announced the 2025 performances to be the last event ever due to budget cuts.
Round Nine
- The Lion’s Den owner sued True Value after a truck obliterated its outdoor sign.
- The Willard Preacher announced his engagement to a Penn State squirrel.
- Hideaway owner Mr. Pink changes his name to Mr. Blue after the Pink Pussy Shot incident.
Round 10
- Penn State Athletics is set to host a virtual debate on whether men’s basketball should drop down to Division III.
- Bonnie Blue announced her next tour location will be State College.
- Engineering building repairs will be made strictly out of Legos.
Round 11
- Penn State is set to change colors back to the original pink and black.
- Chick-fil-A is set to replace the downtown McDonald’s.
- Dollar Dog Night will be offered on LineLeap for the 2026 baseball season.
Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.
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