Have you ever been so consumed by something you don’t know how to live without it?

If you don’t know me, it’s likely because I’m the one who takes the photos and creates the graphics, so allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Aidan Conrad, I’m from Scranton(ish), Pennsylvania, and I’m the friend who’s quick with a joke and will tell it to you straight. I’m the youngest of three and the only to attend Penn State (you’re welcome, mom and dad).

For me, it’s always been Penn State. My mother and grandmother were both students, so naturally I fell in love with the school.

The moment I realized what Penn State meant to a person was when I was only 6 years old. I asked my mom why our quarterback, Daryll Clark, was crying after our 2010 Capital One Bowl win over LSU. She explained that because he was a senior, he would never play another game for Penn State again.

From that moment on, I wanted to be a Nittany Lion, too.

Strike One: 0-1

In baseball, you may hear a coach say to take a strike. You’ll fall behind in the count, but it allows you to see what the pitcher is offering you.

This was the first time in my life I had a blank slate. I was surrounded by unfamiliar faces, new places, and most importantly, no baseball.

The beautiful game I watched, studied, and played since I was 5 years old was no longer my identity, and I was unsure of who I was and what I was good at.

As a freshman, I stepped onto campus as a bushy-haired, confused, yet curious boy. I was undecided about my major, and that never failed to strike fear into me.

When you’re surrounded by others who seemingly already have their lives figured out, it leaves an empty feeling in you. 

It was hard not to look up to my friends who were architecture and nursing students and were so passionate about what they’re doing. 

I wanted to be as passionate as they were for something, but I didn’t know what. What I did know, though, was I wanted to fall in love with doing something and then become really good at it.

Where do I go from here if I don’t even know what skills I have?

Ball One: 1-1 Count

Life threw me a ball, and the count was back to even.

Thanks to my amazing mother, and former staffer and friend Dana Nunemacher, I was convinced to apply to Onward State in the fall of my sophomore year.

My freshman year, I shrugged off the idea to apply. I created graphics for my personal enjoyment but didn’t foresee others enjoying what I created as much as I did.

There was no use in applying, and I don’t have the skills to join something like Onward State, I thought to myself.

Well, I knew I needed to join something eventually. I also needed to make my own friends separate from the best friends I made the year prior, so I finally did apply.

After some mishaps in submitting my graphic design samples — thanks, Drew and Keeley, for the help — I was elated to hear I got an interview and was later hired.

I knew immediately I belonged here. These are my people, this is what I want to do, and this will be a part of my story.

Ball Two: 2-1 Count

For the first time in college, I felt like I was ahead in the count. 

I had momentum since joining Onward State, and I wanted to keep the ball rolling. 

Each week at the start of our Sunday meetings, we’d learn the visual staffer and writer of the week. I thought it was neat to see my name read out in front of my peers, even though it held no real significance.

I challenged myself to try to be the visual staffer of the week every week for the entirety of my sophomore spring semester. It didn’t matter, but I figured if I could do that, good things would come from it.

To do this, I made graphics every single time there was an opportunity presented to me.

Due to the unexplainable grit I showed, everyone came directly to me to make graphics instead of throwing the request into our #graphicz Slack channel.

After what may have been three or so months of having my name read at the start of the meetings, I solidified myself as a respected and reliable member on staff.

Although I loved others coming to me for their graphics requests and hearing my name read at meetings, I didn’t love creating the graphics.

Onward State was where I belonged, and these are the people I want to be surrounded by, but I didn’t see myself as a graphic designer long term. 

Strike Two: 2-2

There are two strikes in the count now, but no need to panic, there’s still time left to figure everything out.

I went into my sophomore spring semester as a digital arts & media design major. When I was told our first project in my new major was to create a replica of a shoe out of masking tape, I left and never went back.

Isn’t the name of the major digital arts & media design? Why am I sculpting and painting in my first class?

I dropped all of my classes and major the first week of the semester and picked up any electives I needed to graduate.

After a redirection, I realized it wasn’t exactly what I wanted for myself.

The constant burnouts and creative walls I’d hit while trying to come up with new ideas for graphics was becoming too much for me.

Ball Three: 3-2 Count

Well, here we go, a full count. 

Coincidentally, when everything was falling apart with my major and I was losing interest in graphic design, I picked up a camera.

I didn’t know it at the time, but a women’s hockey game against Lindenwood was the turning point in my life.

There was a different feeling capturing the action of a live game. A feeling I never would’ve felt behind a computer screen.

Soon after the game, I declared my major to be photojournalism — the degree I later earned.

Just a few short months later, I found myself on the sidelines of Lincoln Financial Field — the home of my favorite football team — to cover Penn State men’s lacrosse in the Final Four.

Rounding The Bases

The next two years were a whirlwind of experiences I didn’t see coming.

To all who continue to support my wild dreams, thank you.

If some of you are looking for individual shoutouts, sorry. Most people don’t want to read that, and I don’t feel like typing it. The constant reassurance from you all solidifies my belief that I’m becoming exactly who I was set out to become.

Looking back now that I’ve figured everything out, I know not to define myself by what I do but rather who I am. I’m happy to say that when I was given opportunities these past four years, I stepped up to the plate.

Cheers, blog!