Welcome back, folks! Whether you’re ready or not, we are thrown right into the thick of things on this beautiful Penn State campus. Some of us have been waiting all summer for this day, while others have been begging not to get Penn State emails ever again.

Continuing an Onward State tradition, we’ve compiled a list of prop bets to help guide you through your first week back.

For those unfamiliar with prop bets, Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow put it best: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

We must note that Onward State is not a gambling site, and none of these bets are real in any way, shape, or form. We also do not encourage or promote gambling, but we do know how to provide some harmless fun. Let’s get into it!

Prop Bet

• People cancel on you because they’re “too tired,” but really, they’re watching Love Island: +200
• The Den line is wrapped around the building: -2000
• All your friends get a cough during the first week: +600
• The gyms are all packed, and it takes you five hours to lift: +100
• A freshman staring at their phone bumps into you: +100
• You watch someone get turned down at a frat’s step: +200
• You get asked to sign a bar crawl shirt: +100
• You drink every night of the first week: +600
• Someone asks for your number for notes, and you never text them: +250
• Your teacher makes a 67 joke: +400
• You drop at least one of the classes you start the week with: +650
• One of your teachers makes you spend $100 on a textbook you never even use: +400

Over/Under

• Average cost of “mandatory” textbooks: 130.5
• Amount of Labubu’s you see on campus: 10.5
• Canvas pages still not published: 3.5
• Doggies Pizza slices: 15.5
• Amount of people talking about Taylor Swift: 200.5
• Canvas notifications: 16.5
• Number of of freshmen lost on campus: 9,169.5
• Amount of classmates talking about Gavin McKenna: 25.5
• Amount of people looking for student section tickets: 10,000.5
• Price the terrible ticket resellers think the student tickets are worth: 1,000.5