I guess it’s my turn, folks.  

When I was a freshman, I wanted to get involved. With a dream of one day being a big-time columnist for ESPN or The Athletic, it was clear that the College of Communications was the way to go.  

Although there were countless clubs to choose from, one stood out to me from the very beginning: Onward State. I knew that getting into a student newspaper was the right choice, but after talking to both the Collegian and Onward State representatives, I knew who my people were.   

I’ll always remember that email in the final semester of my freshman year: “First off, I want to thank you all for applying to Onward State. After careful thought and consideration from our editorial staff, we’ve decided to go in a different direction.”   

To put it simply, my heart sank. I remember watching my goals crash and burn in an instant. I began questioning whether I was on the right path. Where do I go from here? Is this major for me? Where do I fit in? 

After the dust settled, I used the rejection as motivation, writing in my spare time and starting my own “blog” until I was on staff somewhere. The following semester, I reapplied to Onward State, hoping that they’d remember me and see my improvement from my previous application.  

Spoiler alert: I got accepted and was welcomed to the team. At first, I was quiet, timid, and wasn’t necessarily going out of my way to get involved. I’m not sure how it happened, but I remember meeting fellow staff writers and upperclassmen Mara McKeon and Brendan Wagner.   

For whatever reason, I asked them if I could get involved with the wrestling beat. I didn’t have any real writing experience yet, but I wrestled in high school, and with the consistent success of the Penn State wrestling team, I wanted to be a part of it.   

To my surprise, Mara and Brendan were more than happy to bring me on (or maybe they weren’t, and they were just great at hiding it). They taught me the ropes and gave me the opportunity to succeed, something I am extremely grateful for to this day.   

In case y’all aren’t educated, Penn State wrestling is the greatest dynasty in sports. Head coach Cael Sanderson and the boys have NEVER lost since I’ve been an admitted student. They’ve won 86 straight duals. They’ve won every Big Ten Championship and every NCAA title since the 2022-23 season.   

To say I was hooked was an understatement. Rec Hall and the Bryce Jordan Center became my happy place, and the work became fun. I was no longer timid, and I used my newfound confidence to set my sights on the next chapter: Penn State football.  

The stars were aligned, and the perfect combination of resources, talent, and previous success had all the makings for a national championship run. As a Penn State fan, this was exciting, and I was prematurely counting my blessings of being in a position to report such a milestone.  

As we all know, the 2025-26 football season was a disaster. What once looked like a national championship or bust season became a nightmare. It wasn’t just because of their win-loss record, but because of the unrealized potential that was left in the locker room.  There was also my own personal realization of how unfair my expectations had become.  

Because I was so used to covering a team that had done nothing but excel in every category, I had brought those expectations into my next venture. This left me deflated and often made the work excruciating and seemingly insignificant. When things went south, I found that it wasn’t constructive to shut down and quit just because the team wasn’t a winner. 

Sure, it hurt, but the 2025-26 football season taught me that life isn’t always going to be easy and there are lessons you can take from failure. I couldn’t control the outcomes of the teams I was covering, and that was the hardest pill to swallow. Some nights I’d leave the Bryce Jordan Center or Rec Hall and feel invincible, like the world revolved around the team and, in turn, my writing. On the other hand, when Penn State football continued to mount losses, and their potential didn’t materialize, typing up their shortcomings felt empty. 

At the time, this was in every facet of the definition, a culture shock, and I walked away from the experience with a newfound sense that things are just going to happen. Not because of good karma or hard work, but simply because life is unpredictable, and expectations aren’t always going to come to fruition.  

That’s just how the cookie crumbles.  

Sometimes you’re Penn State wrestling: dominant, consistent, and seemingly untouchable. Then sometimes you’re Penn State football: everything that once looked promising, and an upward trajectory crashes before your eyes.   

Both experiences are equally important, and I find the contradiction between the two has given me the greatest life lesson I’ve learned thus far: You can control what you can control, and sometimes the ending isn’t one of those things. And somehow, that realization is freeing.   

Before I get to thanking my people, I want to say there’s nothing like Penn State. Between the chime of Old Main, the crowded sidewalks, and the collective sigh of relief with the first warm day of the year, the little things will always be held close to my heart after my departure on Saturday. I can’t thank this university enough for teaching me more about myself than I could ever have imagined four short years ago.   

To Mara and Brendan, thank you for taking me in and introducing me to the greatest beat in the world. You didn’t need to have me, but you accepted me regardless, giving me a home within a home. Your kindness and guidance taught me more than you’ll ever know, and there’s no string of words that can thank you enough. 

To Collin, Oscar, Sophie, and Ericka, it was the season of all time. Thank you for everything you did for the football beat and, of course, the blog itself. I couldn’t ask for a better group to share motel rooms with.

To Evan, Juice, and Flen, thank you for being my circle. The memories shared between us are some of the best of my life. I was proud to work alongside each of you, and even more so to be your friend. 

To the rest of my Onward State family, past and present, thank you for giving me an opportunity to share countless moments with our audience. The experience would be nothing without the people involved, and I couldn’t be prouder to represent the blog with you all for the last 2.5 years. 

To Lindsay, thank you for keeping me on my toes. Your love and support have meant the world to me, and I couldn’t be prouder of who you have become. Your future is bright, and I can’t wait to see what’s next. 

To Mom, Dad, and the rest of the family, I can’t thank you enough for your support. I was scared and nervous to leave home for the first time, but you never made me feel far away. From talking wrestling with Grama to interrupting Mom’s workday over simple questions, there wasn’t a time when I felt alone, and for that, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Onward and upward.