PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

Hipster Howl: A Postmodern Soiree

whateverThat soiree on Saturday was moderately enjoyable and definitely postmodern.  Matilda, my part-time girlfriend, threw a disco-coke party in her loft apartment.  Every worthwhile party needs a quirky name, and Matilda chose LagerBloggerHideaway, since she live-blogged the whole powwow from her MacBook.

Remember my Chromeo/Diana Ross mashup?  I burned several copies and distributed them to a select few of my friends, including DJ TechnicolorGoat4Walter, who deejayed at LagerBloggerHideaway.  When my mashup hit the speakers, I was overjoyed.  But of course, I appeared glum and apathetic.  Emotions are for sellouts and sorority girls.

We got some decent photographs of the night.  Violet was on lo-fi picture duty with her secondhand camera.  Our artful, coordinated poses of nonchalance look so candid and natural when seen by outsiders.  I mean, they are totally candid and natural.

By sunrise, Violet had already created the Facebook album.  I crave tagging notifications.  You know the feeling when you crawl out of bed at 2 P.M., hungover and smelling of overpriced cigarettes, and you log on to Facebook to see your newly-tagged photos?  Those are the moments that make my life worth living.

Nelly was supposed to buy 15 cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon to chase our liquor.  But the inconsiderate ninny bought kegs instead.  Fuck me.  When my Facebook friends admire my tagged photos, I want them to know I’m drinking PBR, not some mysterious red cup that might contain that Natty gargoyle-pee guzzled by mainstream suckers-of-JoePa’s-dick.  PBR is the beverage of the all-American working class man, so it’s totally ironic when I drink it.  Like when I wear my little sister’s DARE shirt.  Not that I try to be ironic or anything.  I’m really not ironic.

Jeremy made some organic maple crepes with natural maple syrup from the Maple Harvest Festival.  They were tasty until I found out they weren’t vegan.  Ew.  I threw up all the PBR in my stomach and had to refill it with more PBR.

DJ TechnicolorGoat4Walter played “Young Folks” by Peter, Bjorn and John, and we almost got excited.  I can really bust a moby on the dance floor, without looking too eager that is.  A little head bob and occasional shuffle of the feet is all you need.  Throw in a scowl and maybe a snap of the fingers and you’re rolling in alt cred.  I am alt cred.

[Image]

About the Author

Sebastian

Sebastian is an unfortunate doppelgänger.

Comments

More by Sebastian

Hipster Howl: My Call for Comrades

I finally started my underground poetry circle, but it’s so underground that nobody knows about it.  And telling people about my poetry circle is definitely selling out to the man. Matilda and I broke up, not that we were actually dating. Her impetus?  She found Miley Cyrus tracks on my iPod.  I told her I […]

Hipster Howl: A Wistful Week

Hipster Howl: My Passion for Fashion

Athletics

Shea Moyer Lifts Penn State Women’s Soccer Past West Virginia 1-0

Sophomore midfielder Shea Moyer scored the game-winning goal in the 80th minute of a rainy season opener at Jeffrey Field.

Penn State Women’s Soccer Poised For Strong 2018 Season

Incoming Penn State Track & Field Athlete Kristian Marche Shot To Death In Philadelphia

Former Women’s Gymnastics Coach Files Lawsuit Against Penn State Over Handling Of Abuse Allegations

Men’s Soccer Trio, Reading United Win PDL Eastern Conference Title, Fall Short Of National Championship

Student Life

Start The Semester Off Right With These Welcome Week Activities

Don your brightly-colored college shirt and officially begin your Penn State career with these Welcome Week activities.

Nike Releases New Penn State Sneakers

Penn State Parking Office Runs Into Student Permit Purchase Issues

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Join Onward State: Fall 2018 Application

Onward State is hiring for the fall semester and we’d love to have you join us.

Start The Semester Off Right With These Welcome Week Activities

Don your brightly-colored college shirt and officially begin your Penn State career with these Welcome Week activities.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Assessing Penn State’s Front Seven Following Tuesday’s Medical Retirements

Penn State’s defensive line rotation will be shaken up following Ryan Buchholz’s medical retirement from football, while the coaching staff is letting the linebackers duel it out during camp.

Send this to a friend