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Hipster Howl: A Wistful Week

wistfulEw, Greek Week.  I cannot stand the sight of frat boys playing sports in public.

Look at them… hanging out with friends, laughing in the sunshine, getting plenty of exercise.  That’s so lame.  I am alone, smoking a cigarette, and suffering through my tight pants.  Obviously, I am better than them.

Last week sucked.  I went to a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting just to be ironic.  The Christians sicken me, but I enjoy witnessing their lunacy, albeit frightening.  I did some other ironic acts too.

The Earth Day celebration on Saturday wasn’t fun this year.  It’s so mainstream and commercialized now.  Green this, green that.  Littering is totally cool again.  As for the location… me, being seen on the HUB lawn?  I might as well wear a nauseous PSU hoodie and shout “We are!” at prospective students.

However, one ray of sunshine did illuminate my weekend.  The Co-op hosted a benefit concert for the children of Palestine (FTPK!).  I got to mingle with my fellow freethinkers and listen to some great independent music.  Plus they sold keffiyehs to raise funds for the Palestinian injustices.  Keffiyeh = mad alt cred.

Yesterday was 4.20, but I’m so over marijuana.  All the frat boys do it now, so what’s the point?  Heroin is totally where it’s at.  Yeah Chad, shoot up with Sebastian, you won’t.  Only really edgy people like me can handle smack.


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About the Author


Sebastian is an unfortunate doppelgänger.

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