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Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are…Ball Boys?

Look at that tush!
Look at that tush!

While the title of this article may not surprise some of you at all, the tendencies of one of Shakespeare’s most questionable duos is irrelevant to this article. What is significant, is that Penn State’s very own Jess Rosencranz, a telecommunications senior, has been selected as one of 10 ball girls for the Philadelphia Phillies for the 2010 season.

Jess had to outlast hundreds of other applicants in the selection process and was informed on her birthday, November 24, that she had been selected. In order to apply, Jess submitted a video of herself, took a test on the Phillies, and demonstrated her hitting and fielding abilities. Jess will be responsible for making over 150 appearances on behalf of the team, participating in charity softball games and more at Citizens Bank Park. After stating that she’s most excited to meet Chase Utley, Jess went into further detail about the Phillies’ second baseman:

He’s like the epitome of an all old-time baseball player because of the attitude about him. I just love him. I was a second baseman for a short amount of time. He’s a great player but he doesn’t let his ego get in the way. It’s not about the publicity

Woahh Jess, don’t be too critical of him. And I’d watch your back if I were you; you might have to fight off Mac from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” for your boy Chase (watch this video if you don’t know what I’m talking about and want to see some questionable man-love that would have Rosy and Guildy sweating bullets). Not to mention his wife Jenn.

So congratulations Jess. It’s an amazing opportunity that you’re being given, and I’m sure that you’ll have an amazing year. Like countless women before you, have fun handling Chase’s balls (Editor’s note: his baseballs).

About the Author

Noah Simmons

Noah is an International Politics major minoring in French. Noah participates in the Mock Trial team, the Sailing Team, and is the president/founder of the Odyssey of the Mind club. Besides pushing the limit of what is journalistically acceptable, Noah enjoys long walks on the beach and football. In a previous lifetime he was William Wallace


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