PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

More

The Future of Footwear Comes to Penn State

A new fad has hit Penn State, one that threatens to be greater than Pogs, Pokemon, and Yo-yos combined. They make you feel like Buzz Aldrin, and make Sketchers’ ShapeUps look conservative. I’m referring, of course, to Kangoo Jumps (KJs). Already rumored to be featured on the Richard Simmons comeback exercise video (full disclosure: the author started this rumor…right now), Kangoo Jumps are taking State College by storm, in all their goofy glory.

Kangoo Jumps were originally intended for rehabilitating athletes and astronauts. They’re designed like a pair of roller blades, but these beauties don’t rely on wheels; that’s so 1990s. Kangoo Jumps have their own attached “shock absorbing shell”. Imagine being in a moon bounce, but all the time. Kangoo Jumps boast numerous health benefits, such as joint protection, increased weight loss, and better posture.

Many of you may have seen the KJs in action before the first home football game this year. That’s because KJs have indeed come to State College. East Coast Health and Fitness instructor Amy Powell has single-handedly introduced the residents of Happy Valley to the future: “I was just searching for new ideas to bring to the gym, and I came across Kangoo Jumps.” I too spend my  free time looking for wacky ideas from the ’80s to spend large quantities of money on.

Powell took a group of runners on the KJs around Beaver Stadium before the Youngstown State game earlier this year, with mixed results. However, the KJs seem to be catching on. If you have $250 to spend and feel like falling in love with the future, pick up a pair of Kangoo Jumps. Because they’re not just for running.

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
OR
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Noah Simmons

Noah is an International Politics major minoring in French. Noah participates in the Mock Trial team, the Sailing Team, and is the president/founder of the Odyssey of the Mind club. Besides pushing the limit of what is journalistically acceptable, Noah enjoys long walks on the beach and football. In a previous lifetime he was William Wallace

Comments

Other posts by Noah

Save the Boobs!

For those of you who’ve never been to CollegeMansion.com, it’s a very classy and upstanding site. Imagine the PlayBoy mansion, but online, and with no (total) nudity. As far as I can tell, the goal of the website is to give members of the LARPing club and creepy 60 year olds something to “look” at on Friday nights. Like all things in America, there needs to be a number 1 Mansion girl, which is why the website has been hosting a Mansion Madness head-to-head competition to crown Miss Mansion. And our very own Dakota Konstas has made the final two! Read on to learn more about Dakota…

CATA Manager Gets Recognized

Want Free Food? Try Out Lionmenus’ Special Deals

Join Onward State: Spring 2019 Application

Want to be a part of the nation’s premier student-run media outlet? Want to have your words read or your pictures seen by hundreds of thousands of readers and social media followers? More importantly –do ya like having fun? Believe it or not, it’s that time again. Onward State is hiring for the spring semester and we’d […]

Power Ranking The Best And Worst Downtown Bar Bathrooms

The last time Onward State power ranked bathrooms, “cesspool” bar bathrooms were excluded out of fairness to campus bathrooms. Now, we’re exploring which restrooms live up to that name and which lovely lavatories rise above.

Send this to a friend