HUB Titles: The Social Network

Facebook. Never would I have thought that something could make it suck to have tons of friends you don’t know, engage in battles with the mafia, or farm crops. Okay, maybe Facebook can’t be blamed for the last two. Regardless, who would have ever thought that a site that encourages sharing drunken pictures of waterskiing with no pants and made “friend” into a verb would ever be worthy of praise? Apparently, only 500 million people and the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. I think you will Like “The Social Network” too.

The Premise: Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) is the youngest billionaire alive. He is also a giant douche. The latter descriptor causes Mark to get in a lot of legal hot water. He is being sued by all kinds of characters over something known as “The Facebook.” The reasons for this are made clear through dual stories of the present and past told side by side. Mark and his friend, Eduardo (Andrew Garfield), engage in goofy college antics at Harvard that eventually ends up with the two going 70/30 on Guess which chunk Mark gets. Long story short, Mark’s dedication to the art of douchebaggery leads him down a long road of intellectual property theft. He also runs into Napster creator Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake. Hell yeah.).

The Performance: Eisenberg gave us a taste of what he could do in “Zombieland.” Now, we get the full course meal. He plays Zuckerberg with a perfect blend of jerkass and smugness. He does incredibly selfish things throughout the whole movie and you can tell he is mentally giving characters the finger at almost every opportunity. Yet, we don’t completely hate him. Except at the end. Then, we really hate him. If Andrew Garfield’s performance had a Facebook page, it would have like a gajillion friends. We feel his pain as Eduardo’s life gets progressively darker and his relationship with Mark gets increasingly complicated. And he loved that chicken!  …It makes sense in context.

Other Thoughts: This film’s music is great, in more ways than one. The soundtrack is mixed perfectly into appropriate scenes. Justin Timberlake plays one of the creators of Napster and badmouths the record companies. The concept of the whole scenario is delicious in its absurdity. We will see the day when Justin Timberlake is the lead in a film. Or he makes Dick in a Box 2. Either one would rock the world to its core. One final thought: The writing is too good. This movie’s Zuckerberg is much too charismatic and his banter is too witty. Obviously, the real Zuckerberg didn’t have writers following him around in college and giving him charming quips. Of course, now he does. He’s a freaking billionaire. However, back then he probably didn’t.

Final Verdict: …wait for it… wait for it…. The Facebook. You had to have seen that one coming. The film is loved by pretty much everybody and is really hip with the young people these days. All your friends will bug you about how great it is and you’ll have a sneaking suspicion your girlfriend is a little too into Justin Timberlake. Still, it’s popular for a reason and you’ll find yourself sucked right in before you know it. By the way, you can Like this review on Facebook. There’s a button right down there that does it. Come on. You know you want to. Look at it. It begs to be pressed. Obey the siren’s call. You can’t deny what you know to be true. Embrace the feeling.

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About the Author

John Dempsey

John is a Junior majoring in Journalism from Hazleton, PA. He is so awesome that sharks dedicate a week to him.
Likes: Video games, vigilante justice, irony, talking bears, Burt Reynolds, El Chupacabra, coloring books, chainsaws, and Australians.
Dislikes: Zombies, clowns, zombie clowns, turtleneck sweaters, Apple, poor mustache grooming, nuclear winter, Roman architecture, guacamole, robots, LCD TVs, the color yellow, Velcro, ceiling fans, sprinklers, tornadoes, Belgians, squat thrusts, and romantic comedies.

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