Embarrassing Things I’ve Done at Penn State
In the bubble of Happy Valley, we have nearly unlimited resources at our disposal. We’re faced with choices, choices, CHOICES, constantly hurtling towards us at a pitching machine’s speed. It makes SENSE that on the road to graduation, our dignities do not go unscathed. Penn State is our sandbox, and sometimes instead of building an empire, it’s more fun to just… draw a smiley face. And watch it get stepped on. Or something.
Anyway, maybe this post will make me feel better about all this. And maybe it will make YOU feel better, TOO. Because you, also, have probably done these things.
- One time, I looked up the “LateNight Penn State” craft on the SPA website. I went to the HUB alone and made the craft — a Christmas ornament. It came out really well and my mom displayed it in our living room.
- Freshman year, my roommate and I decorated our door for the Christmas door-decorating contest and we won.
- On the first night of my freshman year, 3 other girls and I ventured out a few blocks past Beaver, determined to find a frat. We couldn’t find one (?????), so we went to the Diner and ate grilled stickies instead. We did all this sober.
- On the first night of sophomore year, my roommate and I went on a “Food Tour of State College” that took us to McDonald’s, Are U Hungry, and Canyon. This was also done sober.
- On the first night of junior year, I ate at College Pizza. (Have I learned nothing?)
- One time, I used my laptop on a CATA bus. Recreationally. In the middle of the day.
- One time (/sometimes), I get to the dining hall at 4:20 and sit around until 4:30 when it opens. Then I eat dinner at 4:30.
- My phone auto-corrects “late-night” to “LATE-NIGHT,” so I clearly have a history of enthusiastically convincing friends to eat a meal with me after midnight.
- I deliberately went to go see “The Social Network” at the HUB by myself. I literally went home afterwards and cranked out a list of potential start-ups. God.
- I went to the tree lighting at the Allen Street Gates and watched local 2nd-graders sing for a half hour — pre-tree-lighting. I got kind of into it.
- I went to see Hanson.
- I went to see Reel Big Fish.
- I went to a Quidditch match.
Now, let’s open this up for discussion: What embarrassing things have you done at Penn State? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter (@OnwardState).
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About the Author
When he isn’t dominating on the football field, Micah Parsons is sharing his wisdom with the world on Twitter.
“Saquon reached out to me and his plan was to come and spend spring ball with us as a coach.”
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