Gone Like the Wind
For the past few years, I’ve spent Valentine’s Day alone. This year, I wanted to change that. Two months ago, I decided to make several online-profiles, (many rivaling these esteemed Craigslist personal ads). Not long after, a woman with the name Lennay Kekua contacted me. She seemed nice enough, and even though she had recently gotten out of a serious relationship, she wanted to travel and meet me! I was ecstatic at the idea, and immediately made travel arrangements!
We were going to go to visit Europe, but unfortunately she had to cancel last minute. However, being the amazing girl she was, Lennay told me to go by myself, and just imagine she was there!
I talked to Lennay on the phone for the whole plane ride, and I explained to her the beauty of the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, and the Tower of Pisa. At every location I took a picture as if she was there!
I even met a new friend named Steve at the Eiffel Tower!
Once I got back, Lennay came to visit me in State College, and we visited the Lion Shrine, Old Main, and went to the Corner Room for dinner!
However, once we had finished dinner, Lennay became quite somber. As she looked across the table, I could see it in her eyes that something was wrong. She looked at me and said, “I can’t Te’o how hard this is, but we have to break up”. Even though I pleaded with her, her mind was made up. Lennay Kekua got up and swiftly left my life, as quickly as she had entered it. She was gone in an instant, as if she never even existed at all.
Yet again, I’m spending Valentine’s Day alone, despite my best efforts otherwise. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes, and at the very least, find solace in the fact your life isn’t quite as pathetic as mine.
Happy Valenties Day!
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About the Author
“Tim’s Law,” the Timothy J. Piazza Anti-Hazing Law, was approved by the Pennsylvania Senate Monday. The legislation is named after Tim Piazza, who died following a hazing ritual at the on-campus Beta Theta Pi fraternity house in February 2017. Now that it’s been passed by both Pennsylvania’s Senate and House of Representatives, the bill will move […]
Now that you’ve had a full day to recover from the heartbreaking 21-17 loss to Michigan State, it’s time to relive the other, more successful parts of Homecoming weekend.
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