For those who have never been to a silent disco, or silent rave as some call it, it’s exactly what it sounds like. People pack into a club to have a good time and enjoy music, but there’s one key difference: The club itself is silent. Everyone is provided with their own pair of headphones and listens to one or more DJs while the actual dance floor is dead silent. The speakers are off. Sounds weird, right?  That’s why we sent three of our writers in various states of inebriation to Levels Nightclub to check out the SPA-sponsored silent rave on Jan. 29.

Drunk

Drunk took his role very seriously, and was reportedly too intoxicated to report his experiences. Based on first-hand accounts of his energetic dance moves from Sober and High, it can be speculated that Drunk is a fan of the silent disco. We are still unsure of his whereabouts as of this writing, but are certain he’s having a good time.

Sober

I really needed to drink for that. I like to think of myself as being open to new and interesting experiences, but I couldn’t help but feel a little weirded out. The moment I stepped inside the club with Drunk and High, I had a feeling that I probably wasn’t prepared. By the time everyone’s headphones were on and the house music was off — I knew that I wasn’t prepared. When your headphones are on and you’re jamming away, it really doesn’t seem that strange. There were two DJs, DJ Kariim and DJ Mick, and you could switch between sets using a button on your headphones. It was pretty neat not knowing if the people around you were listening to the same thing, or hearing something entirely different.

It’s when you take your headphones off, and amidst all the dancing it’s eerily quiet except for the a few people talking and some guy in the corner poorly singing along. That’s when you feel that something is very wrong. I took a video to try to capture the vibe, but you really needed to be there in order to understand how strange it all was.

It seemed like most of the people there were just going for the experience, which was certainly a unique one. Despite the weirdness, I can see how it would be a good time. If I had a few drinks and went with some friends, I could maybe see myself enjoying something like that. That being said, I think I’ll just stick to normal raves from now on.

High

Let me preface this by saying that I am still crazy high, so bear with me on the clarity of my recall. About 40 minutes before the disco, a friend and I packed my steamroller and killed it in about six minutes and it hit me soon after. Hard. While getting dressed, I picked up my white pair of distressed jeans and BAM. All I could say was, “Everything. Just everything.” We pack the steamroller again; kill in about three minutes between the two of us. Then we realize it’s 9:43 p.m.

In my four-inch heels and bare arms, we trudged through the slush to Levels, spotting Drunk and Sober waiting on the sidewalk. I want everyone to know that I wasn’t even cold.

So we get inside and it’s completely not silent. Music was blaring, people were dancing, and I swear on my life that I saw people with drinks. We stood around for a long ass time, like 20 minutes at least. Sober asked me if I felt good and I pondered on that for a while. It was weird because I had no headphones and there were maybe 50 people there total. For half a second, I wondered if I was having another dream about finally turning 21, but I wasn’t.

Good thing I just kept getting higher the longer I stood there. When we finally got our headphones (which I had to trade my driver’s license for…) and moved up to the dance floor, I suddenly felt really old and that if I accidentally swung my hand into someone’s crotch around me, I could be creeping on some underage turf. Eighteen and older my ass – we must’ve been the only upperclassman in the entire joint. (See what I did there?)

For a while, I was fascinated with the fact that when I’d turn down the shitty Top 40 remixes coming from my headphones, people looked like they were all just wiggling. And the wiggliest one of them all was Drunk. Kid can get down. At least, that’s how it was in the beginning anyway. Then people just started singing along, which relieved some of my anxiety because for almost the entire time we were there, I couldn’t tell if there was actually any noise coming out of my mouth or if I was just moving my lips.

We peaced out after about 40 minutes. I got home, packed another bowl, and ate a turkey burger and two plates of nachos to ease the pain of bitter disappointment in the entire experience.