An NCAA investigation uncovered a previously unreported victory for Joe Paterno, giving the legendary coach 410 wins.
The bell currently chimes "Westminster Quarters" during the week and "Hail To The Lion" during the weekend, but both traditional tones will be scrapped and replaced by the Franklin-era Beaver Stadium anthem.
Someone on the borough council is in big trouble.
The results of a two-year long study conducted by AccuWeather were revealed yesterday evening, and in a rather startling discovery, the study indicates that the spirit of Joe Paterno currently controls the weather that hovers over Happy Valley.