Overheard At The Temple Game
In case you’ve been living under a rock, a historic and embarrassing loss for Penn State occurred this past weekend. After a 74-year winning streak, Penn State football fell to Temple 27-10. Although many will never want to remember this day, we managed to document some of the finer parts of the season opener. Without further ado I give you Overheard at the (embarrassing, soul-crushing) Temple Game.
*On the train en route to the game at 10 a.m.*
Train conductor speaking about four Penn State fans who just stumbled down the isle loudly singing: “Damn they’re already lit aren’t they.”
Train passenger: “Yeah they sure are, that’s impressive.”
Train conductor: “I’m sure I’ll be hearing about them on the news later.”
*At the tailgate*
Man holding a bottle of vodka: “Everyone take a shot for how many sacks you think Hackenberg will have this game.”
Luckily, no one took as many shots as sacks that actually occurred…
Guy walks up carrying a case of Joe Paterno beer: *crowd cheering loudly, embracing him*
Man sipping on a Joe Paterno beer: Have you ever really thought about it, like we are drinking our coach right now. Doesn’t that seem a little weird?
Man sitting on a cooler next to him: Now that you mention it, yeah it is. We should probably pour one out for him. Good ol’ coach.
Girl walking to the bathroom: “I see 12 fences.”
Her friend attempting to take a Snapchat: “Really? I only see five. I think that means I can drink more, here give me your drink.”
Her friend pulling her drink away: “No I’m not sharing. I can totally drink more.”
*Inside the game*
Guy to his friend sitting next to him: *sings* “All we do is win, win, win…”
Friend, cutting him off: “Well we need to actually win first…”
Girl referencing the guy wearing a Collegian shirt in the student section: “I don’t understand…why is he wearing that to a game?”
Trust us, we don’t understand either.
Boy looking to the sky: “Sam Ficken, you are always with us.”
His friend, joining: “Sam! Sam where are you?”
*Inside the girls bathroom*
Girl at the sink: “Well this is an embarrassment.”
Girl at the hand dryer: “Welcome to Penn State Football.”
*Back inside the game, things have turned ugly*
Angry fan dressed in a Hackenberg jersey: “Sacked again?! He’s been sacked again! Thats his fifth today!”
*A little while later*
Same fan, who may now be considering buying a different jersey: “Another sack! You’re joking! He’s going to break a record at this point.”
Girl with head in her lap, beginning to drunk cry: “Joe Pa where are you? We need you!”
Guy turning away from the field: “I can’t watch anymore. My eyes, they’re burning.”
Guy seated next to him with his face painted: “I say we wait another minute and then we can leave. I can’t watch Temple storm the field.”
*10 seconds pass*
Face paint guy: “Nope that’s it I’m leaving. I can’t put up with this anymore.”
*Him and a majority of the Penn State audience appear to flee the stadium as if a tsunami were approaching*
Anything towards the end of the game became too ugly to repeat, as you can imagine. Hopefully we never have to listen to (and you never have to experience) a Temple vs. Penn State game like that again.
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About the Author
Students once approved a Wally Triplett statue that Penn State’s bureaucracy prevented from ever coming to fruition.
We sent five of our staffers to try the best of what downtown State College’s Chinese take-out joints have to offer.
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