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Overheard At The Temple Game

In case you’ve been living under a rock, a historic and embarrassing loss for Penn State occurred this past weekend. After a 74-year winning streak, Penn State football fell to Temple 27-10. Although many will never want to remember this day, we managed to document some of the finer parts of the season opener. Without  further ado I give you Overheard at the (embarrassing, soul-crushing) Temple Game.

*On the train en route to the game at 10 a.m.*

Train conductor speaking about four Penn State fans who just stumbled down the isle loudly singing: “Damn they’re already lit aren’t they.”
Train passenger: “Yeah they sure are, that’s impressive.”
Train conductor: “I’m sure I’ll be hearing about them on the news later.”

*At the tailgate*

Man holding a bottle of vodka: “Everyone take a shot for how many sacks you think Hackenberg will have this game.”
Luckily, no one took as many shots as sacks that actually occurred…

Guy walks up carrying a case of Joe Paterno beer: *crowd cheering loudly, embracing him*
Man sipping on a Joe Paterno beer: Have you ever really thought about it, like we are drinking our coach right now. Doesn’t that seem a little weird?
Man sitting on a cooler next to him: Now that you mention it, yeah it is. We should probably pour one out for him. Good ol’ coach.

Girl walking to the bathroom: “I see 12 fences.”
Her friend attempting to take a Snapchat: “Really? I only see five. I think that means I can drink more, here give me your drink.”
Her friend pulling her drink away: “No I’m not sharing. I can totally drink more.”

*Inside the game*

Guy to his friend sitting next to him: *sings* “All we do is win, win, win…”
Friend, cutting him off: “Well we need to actually win first…”

Girl referencing the guy wearing a Collegian shirt in the student section: “I don’t understand…why is he wearing that to a game?”
Trust us, we don’t understand either.

Boy looking to the sky: “Sam Ficken, you are always with us.”
His friend, joining: “Sam! Sam where are you?”

*Inside the girls bathroom*

Girl at the sink: “Well this is an embarrassment.”
Girl at the hand dryer: “Welcome to Penn State Football.”

*Back inside the game, things have turned ugly*

Angry fan dressed in a Hackenberg jersey: “Sacked again?! He’s been sacked again! Thats his fifth today!”
*A little while later*
Same fan, who may now be considering buying a different jersey: “Another sack! You’re joking! He’s going to break a record at this point.”

Girl with head in her lap, beginning to drunk cry: “Joe Pa where are you? We need you!”

Guy turning away from the field: “I can’t watch anymore. My eyes, they’re burning.”
Guy seated next to him with his face painted: “I say we wait another minute and then we can leave. I can’t watch Temple storm the field.”
*10 seconds pass*
Face paint guy: “Nope that’s it I’m leaving. I can’t put up with this anymore.”

*Him and a majority of the Penn State audience appear to flee the stadium as if a tsunami were approaching* 

Anything towards the end of the game became too ugly to repeat, as you can imagine. Hopefully we never have to listen to (and you never have to experience) a Temple vs. Penn State game like that again.

About the Author

Caitlin Gailey

Senior from just outside the city of Brotherly Love. Yes, I am one of those Philly sports fans. I bleed blue and white and have since birth. Maybe someday you will see me on ESPN and then again maybe not. If you ever want to inflate my ego email me at [email protected]


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