Nittany Quickie: Episode Three
Third times the charm, at least in the case of our Nittany Quickie stories. For this round of hook-ups you have taken it to new heights — literally. These stories never cease to amaze us and for that reason we won’t stop sharing them.
“Freshman year I met this kid at a party, and we hit it off after a conversation about Game of Thrones. As the party was winding down, he had to stay to clean up, but we agreed to meet up later. He lived in East, and I lived in Pollock, and both of our roommates would be home that night so we agreed to meet somewhere in the middle. We met up at the Millennium Science Center, and walked somewhere past Nittany Apartments. There was a group of trees by a fenced in field, so we decided to literally get down and dirty there. After a few sticks by pine needles, rock scrapes, and a ton of alcohol from earlier in the evening, I threw discretion by the wayside. I convinced him to hop the fence with me so we could do it in the much smoother field. About halfway through, the goal net seemed like a great place to score both literally and figuratively. I never realized how big the net was until I was in it. The game went OT, and I strutted my stride of pride on the way back to my dorm. Someone must’ve walked by, but they either didn’t notice or tried to ignore it. The next morning I was still picking pine needles out of places they didn’t belong, and my legs were so bruised. But I now have the best hookup story in my friend group.”
It seems you scored in more ways than one that night, and a few bruises were definitely worth the title.
Hickies and Stickies
“After a long day of drinking I went out with a group of friends that night. One of my friends had his hot best friend from home visiting again this weekend. I convinced the friend to leave with me for another party. We went to a frat, where we eventually stole some beer and climbed up to the roof of the State College Diner. About a beer and a half in we start making out, and he carried me away from the edge of the roof to the side of the apartment building over Citizens Bank. Some time later it became too cold to continue, so we walked back to my place and resumed on my couch. My roommates boyfriend walked into the living room to get water right in the middle of things…We eventually finish and the friend leaves just before sunrise. The next day I had to correct my roommate whose boyfriend walked in on me. I told her he did not see our other roommate and her girlfriend who often spent nights on the couch. It was me and a very masculine man, and I showed her the massive hickey to prove it.”
Well damn you sure showed your roommate. Apparently the State College Diner is good for more than just grilled stickies, who knew.
Beaver Hill Has Balls
“It was frat formal friday… enough said. We boned on the balcony of the top floor of Beaver Hill Apartments at 5 a.m. cause his roommate was sleeping. Nobody saw us but there were definitely cars driving on East Beaver at that time so if they looked up they would have had quite a sight… Goooood morning state college!”
Well that’s one way to get rid of your post FFF hangover.
Math, McAllister, and Make-Outs
“After a night of drinking my girlfriend and I were ready to go and didn’t want to wait until we got back to my apartment. So we snuck into the McAllister building, trying doors to see if we could find an unlocked classroom. When we finally did, I pushed all the books and papers off the professor’s desk and did the deed right there. While we were cleaning up, my girlfriend noticed the name on one of the papers and realized the classroom was her math teacher’s and she had class there! She was never able to go to class with a straight face again!”
If she didn’t get an A in that class at least she had an A+ experience that night. Also what professor leaves their classroom unlocked with papers on the table?
“I had matched with a guy on Tinder but never had the courage to meet up with him. I randomly ended up at the same Blue White tailgate as him a few weeks later. I decided to message him on Tinder to make sure it was actually him and it was. We left the tailgate together very intoxicated. My dorm in East happened to have a handful of people in it and my car was conveniently in the East Parking Deck. We relocated to the roof where we did the deed. I haven’t spoken to him since.”
If this isn’t what Tinder dreams are made of we don’t know what is.
That concludes the third round of Penn State hook-up stories. If you think you can do better than these stories submit your own.
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About the Author
“Tim’s Law,” the Timothy J. Piazza Anti-Hazing Law, was approved by the Pennsylvania Senate Monday. The legislation is named after Tim Piazza, who died following a hazing ritual at the on-campus Beta Theta Pi fraternity house in February 2017. Now that it’s been passed by both Pennsylvania’s Senate and House of Representatives, the bill will move […]
Now that you’ve had a full day to recover from the heartbreaking 21-17 loss to Michigan State, it’s time to relive the other, more successful parts of Homecoming weekend.
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