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Overheard During The Penn State Clown Hunt

Students poured into the streets early Tuesday morning at the first whisper of a Penn State Clown sighting. With so many Penn Staters crowding together over something so…ludicrous, the Clown Hunt provided the perfect opportunity to kick off this year’s first installment of Overheard.

We saw tennis rackets, baseball bats, and hockey sticks. You allegedly saw clowns. Here are the best things we overheard during Monday night’s hunt for the Penn State Clown:

Guy who’s only prejudiced against one category of fictional characters: “I don’t care about your race, color, or creed. Fuck the clown.”

Kid who apparently never watched “It”: “That clown is someone’s son.”

Girl who has her priorities straight: “Wait mom I’ll call you back. HEY ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE CLOWN?!”

Kid who knows the slippery slope leading to clownhood all too well: “Hey are you the clown?!” as an Onward State editor rode past on his bike

Guy who can’t wait for the election to be over: “There’s clowns on campus? I didn’t know Hillary and Trump were coming.”

Blonde girl in distress apparently on the phone with her mother: “Mom I don’t even know right now okay!?”

Kid baffled by the sheer number of students walking across Pollock Road: “There’s no way all these kids live in East.”

Guy who supports Trump puns and just wants to stop the madness: “It’s time to make clowns funny again.”

Brave kid running down Pollock Road, prepared to take one for the team: “I’M GONNA FUCK THIS PUSSY UP!”

Girl who is both humbled and honored to be on #ClownWatch2016: “Well, now you know clowns will be in the line dance.”

About the Author

Elissa Hill

Elissa is a senior public relations major and the managing editor of Onward State. She is from Punxsutawney, PA [insert corny Bill Murray joke here] and considers herself an expert on all things ice cream. Send questions and comments via e-mail ([email protected]) and follow her on Twitter (@ElissaKHill) for more corny jokes.

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