Penn State back at it again with the crazy hook-ups (and terrible music references). This week episode eight takes us away from light pollution and into the arms of a bouncer. Buckle up folks, it’s about to be a wild ride.

Good Times And Better Mindsets

“It was my first year after graduation. My girlfriend and I had been living the long-distance lifestyle. When we see each other, we normally get right down to business. However, this weekend was going to be a little different because her roommate’s parents were in town and they were staying at the apartment. So we took the natural next step: we drove up to Nittany Apartments where the parking lot is generally pretty dark (it wasn’t our first time on this mission). We got in the backseat of the car and started making out. Not two minutes had passed before a few construction men came bumbling along. We had parked right next to their van. We hurriedly duck down behind the backseats. We waited for 10 minutes before they finally start meandering away. I hurry up and get in the front seat to drive away. First thing she says, ‘Where are we going now?’ We make our way to another nearby empty parking lot, even darker than Nittany Apartments, and proceed to have sex multiple times. We felt like masterminds who had found a hidden gem. As we finish up and put our clothes back on, we notice a previously dark car 3 spots down start up and drive away…apparently we weren’t the only masterminds in that parking lot that night. What a time to be alive.”

It sounds like you guys are seasoned pros. Dimly lit parking lots beware.

Shady Shulze

“My girlfriend came to visit on a Friday night and prior to going out, we decided to try and get an hour or two of studying in. Usually the roof lounge is packed but there was no one to be found that night so we had the entire room to ourselves. One thing led to another and we decided to sneak into the bathroom since my roommate was studying down in our room. The only problem was the lock on the door was busted so I had to have my arm pushed against the door during the deed. Ultimately we didn’t get caught but as we gathered our things to leave, a group of people walked in, so our timing was stellar. It’s safe to say that bathroom was christened.”

I admire that your first thought was the roof lounge. This will serve as a good PSA to all future and current Shulze residents, the bathroom door lock is broken.

Hole In One 

“We were tailgating all day for a 8 p.m. football night game. On our way home from the game, he told me there was supposedly a ‘meteor shower’ and to get away from the light pollution of State College we went to the golf course. We made a pit stop on the green and did the deed. Every time he golfs he always jokes about us doing it but his friends don’t believe him.”

The one time light pollution actually worked as a wingman.

Pong Pair Made In Heaven 

“Freshman year, at one of the first parties I ever went to, I met a really good looking guy. We played pong together and were both clearly feeling it, but both of us had roommates in our rooms. Knowing we didn’t have an another option, we decided to just go for a walk. Don’t really remember how it got to that level, but we ended up just doing the nasty there in the dead middle of the arboretum field. We didn’t get caught but it was after a game day so there was a truck picking up bags of trash in a very distant other field.”

Ah beer pong, the true college matchmaker.

Full Moon At Old Main

“My senior year I worked at one of the best bars in town as a bouncer. I spent most of my time talking to all my friends. I started talking to one of the regulars and eventually we exchanged numbers. We talked about all sorts of crazy shit, one being the craziest places we have done the dirty. I didn’t have any cool stories and she was determined to give me one. So she told me she was going to come into the bar a wait for me to get off work and we were going to make it happen. We closed the bar and I called her asking where she was. She told me she was sitting at the Allen Street bus stop and to meet her there. When I got there she grabbed me and we went up to old main lawn. We did it under the trees in the corner of the old main lawn. Even at 3 a.m., there are a suprising number of people awake. There were a number of people who walked by and knew what was happening and just laughed. That photo of Old Main carries a different meaning for me.”

Nothing says romance and We Are like hooking-up in front of Old Main. President Baron would be proud.

Did these stories inspire you to share your own? Submit your own crazy hook-up here.