Penn State Personalities As Star Wars Characters
With former Penn State basketball player-turned-actor Joonas Suotamo cast as young Chewbacca in the new Han Solo spin-off film, we started thinking about how Penn State’s finest would look in a galaxy far, far away…
The Willard Preacher as Jar Jar Binks
“Meesa say you will go to Hell.”
James Franklin and Mace Windu
Two great leaders during tough times for their groups. “Palpatine. Palpatine. Palpatine. Palpatine. Palpatine.”
Joe Paterno and Yoda
“A dish unseasoned success without honor is. Satisfy your hunger it will but good it taste will not.”
Trace McSorley and Anakin Skywalker
The two chosen ones. The Nittany Lions are hoping their chosen one doesn’t transfer to Ohio State, who he is supposed to destroy, not join.
Saquon Barkley and Lando Calrissian
As the original owner of the Millennial Falcon, Calrissian knows a thing or two about elusive speed like Barkley.
Blake Gillikin and Luke Skywalker
The Nittany Lions have been waiting a long time for a reliable punter and they have found their Golden Boy, very similar to Luke Skywalker saving the Rebellion. On top of all this, each rocks a fresh cut.
President Barron and the Emperor
Because Baron Barron sounds a little redundant, we picture Eric Barron as an emperor — though we think he attained his position through credentials and experience, not a coup.
Terry Ford and Han Solo
We can’t confirm or deny whether Terry Ford shares blood with Harrison Ford, but the similarities are too striking to think otherwise…
Your ad blocker is on.
Please choose an option below.
Purchase a Subscription!
About the Author
Do you yearn for cigarette ash-dusted grilled cheeses from “quintessential shithole” Grillers? Or a night out at G-Man with your old frat bros? Or have evenings of drinking felt incomplete ever since Canyon moved across Beaver and got rid of its sticky blue picnic tables?
Five individuals who are not Penn State graduates but who have worked for the betterment of the university have been named this year’s Honorary Alumni Award recipients.
Send this to a friend