Yesterday began as a perfectly festive State Patty’s Day, albeit a bit colder than most students preferred. After a breakfast of kegs and eggs, those wearing green participated in a mass migration toward their respective daylongs. There’s only one sensible lunch option on our unofficial official holiday: a slice of green Canyon.

But tragedy struck State College. Canyon did not serve green pizza.

Naturally, we decided to investigate this unexpected series of unfortunate events. A Canyon employee seemed defensive when we asked about green pizza. Just when we were starting to accept the fact that Canyon had moved to a new location down the street, we found out the new Canyon doesn’t “have the time or space” to make green pizza on State Patty’s Day.

We can’t help but wonder how much time or space it takes to add green food dye to pizza. If you don’t have the time or space for green pizza, what do you have the time or space for?

The woman working wasn’t keen on answering any other questions about the green pizza, but we know one thing for sure. State Patty’s festivities were changed forever this year. Why can’t we have our green $1 slice and eat it too? A treasured tradition was lost today.

State Patrick would be ashamed.