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Your Guide To Having A Dorm Room Valentine’s Day

Have a special person in your life but you’re balling on a meal points budget? Look no further, for Onward State’s Chef Love is cooking up something good. Even if you live in a cramped East dorm room, you can still look like a State College Casanova and throw your sweetheart the most romantic date night they’ve ever seen.

Acquire The Essentials

It’s quite simple to make your dorm room into an upscale Parisian getaway. Note the fine attention to detail, the cheap yet elegant dining cloth draped oh-so neatly over the desk, transforming a spot of studying nightmares into a fine table for your meal.

Plastic utensils, paper towels, plastic cups: All may seem like simple household necessities, but with the addition of a candle, the entire spread lights up like your lover’s heart when they see how much thought you put into the evening. If they like rebels, there’s nothing quite like burning a candle in a dorm room.

Set the Mood

Be sure to use our Valentine’s Spotify playlists. We have two to choose from, but we have a feeling your date will like the sensual, lovey-dovey theme.

Prepare The Meal

As you can see, the food doesn’t have to be from a Michelin-starred restaurant — some easily prepared microwave dinners will do the trick. Try to have the food done before your date arrives and tell them you cooked it yourself (throwing out your trash beforehand, of course). They’ll be amazed you could prepare such a scrumptious smörgåsbord using just a microwave.

Be sure to read the directions. You don’t want to risk looking like a culinary novice to your loved one!

As they say in France, Voilà!

Doesn’t that look divine? Just the perfect ratio of noodles to peanut water.

Dig In!

With your mise en place on point, your dinning table set up perfectly, and your feast plated, you can now move on to the main course.

Be sure to pour your heartthrob some of that bubbly! Pretend that you’re classy for the night and describe the vineyard and age of the non-alcoholic cider with ravishing detail as if you’re a real, full-blown sommelier: “I’m getting notes of…”

Finally, lay back with that your lovebird and indulge in some decadent delights. Like a middle-aged woman in a yogurt commercial, act like you’re enjoying the finest of delicacies and dig into some ice cream pints like a pair of wild animals.

If this won’t woo that special someone, I don’t know what will. Go forth and ask that special someone out. Shoot your shot, kid. Chef Love gives you his blessing.

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About the Author

Matt Paolizzi

Matt is a freshman majoring in Secondary Education, hoping to minor in philosophy, and is from the fabled land of "just outside Philly." He'll gladly talk your ear off about anything from Picasso to Wu-Tang Clan and lives and dies by Philly sports. Send him seething rants and death threats at [email protected]


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