Last week, we asked you to submit your best ‘why I got kicked out of the bar’ stories. Needless to say, we got plenty of responses. And boy, you folks did not disappoint. Some stories were far worse than others, but for the most part, all of your stories were pretty down right terrible.

We got so many responses we’ve decided to split this post up into a series of shambly State College bar stories. So without further ado, here are your best ‘why I got kicked out of the bar’ stories: part one.

Bar: The Phyrst

“For some reason, I told the bartender that I was going to pee in the bathroom sink. I left for the bathroom, peed appropriately in the urinal, but two bouncers were waiting for me outside the door. They thought I actually did it and cursed me out before kicking me out. I was wearing my Zach Ertz Philadelphia Eagles jersey and I feel as though I let Ertz down.”

Ertz would likely not be proud, but… Go Birds?

Bar: The Gaff

“I was licking a lady’s neck and when the bouncer asked me why I was doing it I told him it tasted good and asked him if he’d like to try… I was 3 liquor pitchers deep. It was 10:15.”

If we had a nickel for every time we saw this happen… we’d probably be broke.

Bar: Indigo

“My buddy grabbed a random LIT off a table and was like ‘oh someone forgot this here, it looks gross though.’ I took it, looked at it for a second, and chucked it against the wall. A bouncer saw it and was kicking me out and I agreed to go out of the front calmly. He was walking in front of me, so my drunk thought was ‘oh if I just turn around and sprint into a crowd he’ll never find me.’ I did that, ran towards the back, a few of my friends set up some strategic screens for me to elude the bouncer, but after I got to the back of Indigo I guess they radioed in that a drunk ass kid in a purple Vineyard Vines shirt had to get kicked out so as soon as I got to the back they were like ‘come on man, you’ve gotta go’ so I was like alright alright I’m gone. Left out of the back, promptly got drunk Yallah Taco (back when it was just a cart) and then met some friends up at Pickles. Solid night all around, Indigo smells like puke anyways so it’s a W in my book.”

Any night that ends with Yallah is a W in our book too.

Bar: Unknown, But It Was This Guy’s 21st Birthday, So Probably The Phyrst

“I went behind the bar after coming out of the bathroom and told the bartenders, ‘Fuck you I can make my own drink.’ I was promptly carried out and thrown onto the sidewalk chipping a tooth.”

Is it really a 21st birthday, even when it’s not your own, if you don’t end the night with at least some type of injury?

Bar: Café 210

“Several pitchers of beer in, my buddy and I walked out back to talk to some of his friends. Where I decided to stand there was a potted plant hanging just low enough to bump my head when I shifted over towards it. After bumping my head on it a few times, I decided that the best course of action was to take the plant off the hanger and throw it on the ground. As soon as the bouncer looked at me, I announced, ‘I’ll leave.'”

Pitchers will get you every time.

Bar: Pickles

“I found out what had happened through the Snapchat of a friend of a friend. Apparently, I was repeatedly yelling, ‘Phil Kessel is a 2x Stanley Cup Champion.'”

Never say Yinzers don’t have heart!

Bar: The Gaff

“Drank a whole bottle of tequila. Blacked out. We ended up at Gaff where I was so gone I thought I was at a bar my aunt works at. I kept asking the bartenders and bouncers where she was. Then I realized my friends weren’t there either. Kept telling my girlfriend I was going to look for my friends, they had to be there somewhere because Gaff is our spot. They were in Virginia. They live in Virginia. Girlfriend took my phone so I ended up trying to use my wallet to call my friends and lecture them on the bro code. It didn’t work. You can’t call somebody by using a wallet.”

You know what they say — if you want to make some memories, add tequila.

Bar: Adam’s Apple

“I had a jacket on with no shirt underneath it. I unzipped the jacket, pulled the top up towards my head and started running around the Adam’s Apple flapping my arms and yelling ‘I’m a bat’ the weekend of PSU-Notre Dame.”

This one speaks for itself.

Have a great story to top these? Tell us why you got kicked out of the bar here.