Long, long ago, Saint Patrick’s Day fell during spring break. Faced with the horrifying prospect of not being able to drink with their friends on one of the biggest drinking holidays of the year, Penn State students decided to create their own holiday. Thus, on March 2, 2007, State Patty’s Day was born, and all hell ensued.

In the spirit of Ol’ State Patrick, here are some other holidays that we aren’t fortunate enough to get to celebrate together but could be celebrating together anyway, damnit.

IndePennState’s Day

Tragically, the Fourth of July falls in the middle of the summer every year, so we never get to celebrate the birth of this great nation together. It is only right that we get the opportunity to honor not only America and its founding fathers but, more importantly, Abraham Lincoln and all that he has done for our trophy-winning Land Grant university. Let’s start celebrating our own Independence Day two months early on the weekend before finals, because why the hell not?

Statesgiving Eve

Don’t you find it annoying that Thanksgiving always falls during Thanksgiving break? We can never properly celebrate Thanksgiving Eve in State College — unless we just started doing it early. We could even follow it with our own Penn State alternative to Thanksgiving dinner. These are the wholesome traditions our generation can leave behind.

New Semester’s Eve

New Year’s Eve is yet another holiday we are tragically not in State College to celebrate, even though there’s no place we’d rather be. Fortunately, there’s an obvious solution to this problem. Yep, let’s celebrate New Years the Sunday night before the spring semester starts.

As soon as the clock strikes midnight, it’s a school day once again, baby. Hopefully, the Student Fee Board can scrape together enough money to fly Ryan Seacrest out to State College to emcee our very own ball drop.