Drunk Sober High
12 games. 684 days. 16,416 hours. 984,960 minutes. 59,097,600 seconds. It's been a long-ass time since the Fighting Illini have won a Big Ten game.
Are we really this fantasy-biased when it comes to former Nittany Lions?
To the shock of absolutely no one, Marcus Allen's reactions to Penn State's resounding victory over Pitt were gloriously obnoxious.
Has anyone ever actually gone to Heinz Field on a Saturday?
Did anyone seriously draft Hack? Please let us know.
Read the plight of our butts and act, noble UPUA president!
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