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Five Pokémon That’d Make A Better Terrapin Mascot Than Testudo

No mascot comes close to the Nittany Lion. He’s the Symbol of Our Best and does it all, whether it’s one-armed push-ups or cute photo ops with fans, while wearing a dashingly posh scarf.

But unfortunately, some schools aren’t as lucky as Penn State is. And one of those schools is Maryland with its Terrapin mascot, Testudo, which sounds more like a pill for erectile dysfunction than a mascot you’d want to cheer for.

Testudo’s look does the opposite of what a mascot is supposed to do: excite fans, while intimidating opponents. That shouldn’t be too surprising, considering that a terrapin is defined as “a small, edible turtle.”

His appearance is similar to the Pokémon Squirtle, a tortoise-like creature that’s tiny and cute. In other words: small and edible.

Coming from a school that knows a thing or two about mascots that are both stately and intimidating, we have a few recommendations for other Pokemon that might make better Terrapin mascots.

Torkoal

A tortoise just like Testudo, this Pokémon can breathe fire. It runs on coal and breathes out smoke. Also, that shell on its back looks scorching.

This fiery beast is Testudo if Testudo were born in the underworld and you know, a suitable mascot.

Torterra

This cute-looking creature is an optical illusion. The mammoth is actually more than seven feet tall and weighs just under 700 pounds. It also somehow manages to carry a tree on its back.

Although Torterra’s shell would need a red paint job to be on-brand for the Terps, its piercing red eyes alone are way more intimidating than Testudo’s toothless smirk.

Shelgon

Shelgon just looks straight-up pissed off, which should immediately giving it the nod over Testudo. Its shell is made of metal, which gives it added ability repel attacks as well as bonus points for being cool as well. Shelgon is also part-dragon and can breathe fire, like Torkoal. Don’t think Testudo can say the same, but keep holding that L M.

Gengar

As a child, I actually had nightmares because of this ghost Pokémon. I remember reading that this horror would hide in your shadow and wait for the right opportunity to steal your soul. The red eyes and ominous smile are a freaky combination. Gengar can also fly and possess people and other Pokemon.

Testudo after hearing that, probably:

Blastoise

Little needs to be explained when it comes to this last beast. The evolved form of Squirtle, Blastoise is a whopping five feet tall, blue, and has freaking cannons on its back!

It’s so imposing, that Penn State defensive tackle Antonio Shelton compared teammate and offensive lineman Caedan Wallace to it.

“That’s what Caedan is built like and I tell him that,” Sheldon said. “He’s just like all back, you know what I mean.”


Overall, Testudo is a weak mascot. These five creatures would serve as better mascots for the university.

They all are much scarier and more marketable than the weird-looking turtle. This poor creature wouldn’t stand a chance in the Pokémon world. Come to think of it, it barely does in this one. Maryland is 13-31 in the Big Ten since joining in 2014.

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About the Author

Jared Raggi

Jared is a freshman majoring in undecided because he doesn't know what he wants to do for the rest of his life at 18. He is from Roxbury, NJ and is an avid fan of the Yankees and Steelers. If you like mindless, witty content, feel free to follow him on Twitter @jraggi29.

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