The time has finally come, folks. This will be our last installment of the Nittany Quickie series. *Cue exasperated sighs of disappointment*

We’ve heard about y’all getting down and dirty in just about every crevice of Penn State’s campus. At times, it seemed like your stories couldn’t any wilder, but they always did, and we thank you for that.

Whether you submitted a story of your own, or just stuck around for the ride, hopefully, you got something out of it. Maybe you were inspired, or maybe you realized how unsanitary Old Main Lawn is and that you go to school with a bunch of freaks.

No matter the case, enjoy the final installation of Nittany Quickie.

The Base Of Old Main’s Flagpole

“On a night out, this guy and I bumped into each other near College Mart and decided to go for a walk on campus — who knows why. I turned around for one second and lost him. I looked around for a while, but I couldn’t find him. Next thing I know he’s sitting on the base of the flagpole. If you’ve never sat at the base and looked up at the top, you should, it’s so trippy. Before we knew it we were making out, and the rest is history.”

Was looking up at the flagpole really that trippy…or were you just on drugs?

Millennium Science Complex’s Bathroom

“I was in the middle of some lab experiments when I was an undergraduate doing research. My girlfriend at the time texted me to tell me she was passing by the building, so I walked out during a break I had in the experiment, and we hung out by the building’s garden and talked.

We both got in the mood, but didn’t have time to go back to my place to get down. I remembered that one of the bathrooms in the lab had a huge stall with a shower in it. So, we snuck in the stall and did the deed. We had to be quiet since people were walking in and out of the bathroom.”

There’s something about getting jiggy with it in the shower.

111 Forum

“As with all great stories, it starts with my ex being in town to visit. We decided to ‘reconnect’ and one thing led to another. My roommate was home, and the girl she was staying with was also home. So, we needed a place.

Luckily, I knew a little secret. One of the doors to the Forum building used to not lock properly, so you could open it whenever if you pulled hard enough. Sadly, this doesn’t work anymore. So that’s where we went, and we did it right on top of that desk that’s in the front of room 111. I know so many people that have had class in there and love to bring it up.”

Considering this is the second story we’ve heard about people hooking up in Forum, it seems that maybe there’s still a way to sneak in. *Wink, wink*

Top Of The Diving Platform

“A few years ago, this girl and I were looking to have some fun, so we tried to think of a place where we thought no one had had sex before. After some deliberation, we came up with the 10-meter diving board at the outdoor pool. So late at night we snuck in, climbed to the top, took off our clothes, and had sex. Things went smoothly until we decided to dive in and skinny dip.

I guess we made a lot of noise though because some police officers came in to check it out. We tried holding our breath for as long as we could but they ended up catching us. The worst part is that our clothes were still at the top of the diving board so it made for a very awkward conversation, which was almost as bad as the fine we got.

Did I get my money’s worth? Eh…not really.”

Note to self: Don’t pretend to hide under clear pool water to escape the police.

Willard Building

“At the end of my freshman year, I had been talking to a girl for about a week or two. On the Thursday night of finals week, we realized it was now or never. There was no way we would’ve continued a relationship through the summer. She was studying late in a Willard classroom and despite us both having finals on Friday, I walked from East to Willard, and we hooked up in a classroom at about 2 a.m. I moved out later that day and really never heard much from her again. Best part? I still managed to wake up for my 8 a.m. final and get a 96%.”

“Hell yeah brother.” -HH

Biome In Mueller

“My boyfriend (who has since graduated) always held office hours in one of the little offices in the Biome in Mueller. We would always be doing homework in there and it was fitting, because both of our majors are heavily life science-based. But let’s be real, you can only study so much for hard science courses before you need a ‘break.’ Science majors need to have fun too. So, short of going to one of our places to hookup, we would just do it in the biome!”

Ugh… STEM majors always gotta mention that they’re STEM majors…. even in Nittany Quickie stories.

These responses were edited for clarity and brevity.